Reply to Tell me about separating and divorcing with a young baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you buy a new house if your marriage was "circling the drain"?[/quote]

We bought it when I was (very) pregnant. Our previous home didn't have space for a third (or even the two of us, for that matter).

To the women who stayed and are emotionally disconnected: Do your husbands realize it? And if so, do they realize why? And do they understand the cause and effect of their behavior?[/quote]

I'm not a woman but I'm a husband of a woman who has emotionally disconnected in that way. Yes, I realize it, it's hard to miss, between the no sex and constant low-level hostility and contempt. Yes, I understand there's a connection to my behavior, but I wonder if she understands there's also a connection to her behavior. And just like she's too angry to reach out to me to fix the problem by behaving better, I feel too angry to reach out to her in the same way.

Either you're willing to deal with marital situations as being the joint responsibility of two people or you're headed for divorce. Likely our destination.
  [/quote]

The choice for you is actually pretty simple: stop treating your wife with hostility and contempt. You should do that anyway, regardless of whether she ever has sex with you again. It's the right thing to do. You don't get to expect a person to show you affection and intimacy when you treat them with contempt and hostility.

I don't care about joint responsibility. No one is obligated to have sex with someone who treats them with contempt and hostility - YOUR WORDS, not mine.[/quote]

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