Reply to Tell me about separating and divorcing with a young baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you buy a new house if your marriage was "circling the drain"?[/quote]

We bought it when I was (very) pregnant. Our previous home didn't have space for a third (or even the two of us, for that matter).

To the women who stayed and are emotionally disconnected: Do your husbands realize it? And if so, do they realize why? And do they understand the cause and effect of their behavior?[/quote]

I'm not a woman but I'm a husband of a woman who has emotionally disconnected in that way. Yes, I realize it, it's hard to miss, between the no sex and constant low-level hostility and contempt. Yes, I understand there's a connection to my behavior, but I wonder if she understands there's also a connection to her behavior. And just like she's too angry to reach out to me to fix the problem by behaving better, I feel too angry to reach out to her in the same way.

Either you're willing to deal with marital situations as being the joint responsibility of two people or you're headed for divorce. Likely our destination.
  [/quote]

Sometimes it's on both sides like that. But sometimes there is one partner who is more hostile. If it's the man, it's important to recognize how a lack of safety can really make a woman's sex drive disappear out of self-protection. So I'd say a man who has engaged in any physically aggressive behavior needs to realize that. There was a lot my DH could do and we would still have sex. But when he started becoming aggressive that was the end. [/quote]

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