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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "What are your views on living together before marriage? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just curious as it came up in conversation the other day. My rather liberal mother is staunch on one rule in life - never live with someone until you are married. Her reasonings are that classic "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" idiom and that it just makes things 10x more difficult if things go south. I understand those points of views but think it's a good idea to live with each other before marriage because understanding whether you can live well together is a BIG part of having a successful marriage. I would perhaps open up her rule to "never live with someone until you're engaged (or soon to be engaged)." Or I would say that living together (in a rental situation) before marriage is fine, but you shouldn't buy property together yet. What are your opinions? [/quote] I wouldn't bother. The real $hit hits the fan once you have kids, not living the high life in a 1BR or 2BR apartment both pulling in salaries, tiny expenses, eating out, vacations, etc. The real $hit hits the fan once one of you goes through a death in the family or friend circle -- then you see if they can offer the emotional support you need. The real $hit hits the fan once one of you loses a job or gets laid off - how do you or they handle that stress and do you work together to find a solution? The real $hit hits the fan when you have to work together to solve a conflict or issue - like an illness, or a job search, or maybe the wedding, or an issue with a young child (health, school). If anything I wish we had done non-church pre-marital counseling and vetting views in child-rearing, running a real household (i.e. two jobs, 2-3 kids, house, yard, elderly parents, vehicles), finances/spending. More talking and thinking, not "living together". BFD, don't bother living together, that will eliminate the BS of dating for years and years and years cuz someone is non-committal or has different timing or priorities. [/quote]
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