Reply to Dating A Woman in 30’s

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a female big law partner and think there's nothing wrong with OP's attitude about what he's looking for.  Not for me, but there was nothing offensive about what he has said thus far.

OP - you should break up with this woman because you are definitely on different pages.

2L and 3L are significantly lighter work loads than having an actual job.  There may be people who found those years burdensome, but in my experience, those people were also more likely to find every stage of life more burdensome than the average person.  In other words, she's not going to magically find working to be an easier schedule than her current life.  Some people just get more overwhelmed than others by day to day obligations.

Alternatively, she may not be overwhelmed at all but she may just have a lot of other things going on. Other friends and hobbies.  Or may just like to spend several nights a week alone.  You can't expect those to change if you get married.  You're looking for a "all in" relationship -- which is totally fine (that's how my DH and i were from the beginning) but not everyone wants that.

Also agree that your girlfriend is likely not thinking clearly about when babies will fit into the picture.  This isn't abnormal for type A achieving women. It's not good for your career to have a baby in year one after law school. You really need to wait 2 years, or it will drastically impact your career trajectory.  I have a lot of girlfriends who didn't start trying for kids until 36, and now they are 40 and still don't have kids.  Not all of them --some got pregnant without too much trouble or adopted.  But being this age, you have to be aware that there is a decent change (10%+) that it may not happen for you.

All in all, sounds like you like this woman but aren't smitten and that you are just on different pages (or that some of your age and experience has allowed you to better know what you want than her).  Time to move on.  [/quote]

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