Reply to Where to hide money to plan an exit?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

No, I'm not permanently hiding money. Obviously a forensic accountant would uncover that. I am afraid that if he knows I am leaving, he will attempt to leave me and the kids in a bind financially. I don't really have any family to help because my relatives are not wealthy. The type of man who is verbally and emotionally abusive will do many things that others find shocking.

And yes, of course I am all too  familiar with the Rob Porter story. It hits too close too home for me to even read. I am so very glad for those women that they didn't have children. But I do. And it makes it much more complicated. I am also familiar with the John Federer story and those stories - of successful professionals with a secret like this - they are very hard for me to read. I have come close to telling my sister the truth but haven't quite gotten there yet. It's just so hard.

To answer your questions, I don't know how I had three kids with an abusive spouse. I look back and wonder which signs I should have heeded and where things went so drastically wrong. We met in college, and have been together more than 25 years. Obviously he wasn't like this back then, but as he got more and more "successful"he changed dramatically. Of course I wish I would have done things differently and I am full of regret and guilt for my children.  The oldest, who is a teenager, probably also qualifies as being emotionally abused by DH. It's awful, and shameful, and I'm trying very hard to do the right thing now, for them.

Thanks for the advice. [/quote]

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