Reply to Why don't people take emotional abuse seriously?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why don't people take emotional abuse seriously? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I recognize you from your past posts. You really need to be working with a therapist, not posting on DCUM.[/quote]

Thanks!

I am working with a therapist. I'm also wondering why people don't take emotional abuse seriously, which is why I posted here.[/quote]

Maybe ask your therapist at your next session to help you work on your need for external validation.[/quote]

This is a bit unfair and harsh PP.  Abuse victims, like any victims, reach out to others for emotional, physical and financial support.  What the abuser is doing -- emotional abuse -- is wrong and blaming the victim for taking it, not being strong enough to leave, or wanting other people to support her identification of behavior as abusive, well that's wrong too.

In fact, the failure of society to acknowledge and protect the true victim is what makes the abuse so traumatic.  We have an idea in our heads that we are valuable and should be protected, especially by family (parents, spouse, etc.) or other parts of society (workplace, justice system, other institutions where we expect fairness).  When we don't experience these structures as protective and respectful of us, the victim often experiences a betrayal trauma.  If the victim is repeatedly abused, and that abuse is either ignored or justified by outsiders or other people the victim naturally expects to turn to for support instead blame the victim, then, over repeated episodes of abuse, the victim develops a kind of "learned helplessness".  It's important not to interpret this kind of "learned helplessness" as a weakness on the victim's part.  In fact, this learned helplessness has a kind of rational, protective value.  It is a rational response to an irrational situation.

Yes, it is true that OP should work on developing her sense of autonomy and ability to act independently of what others think, but your delivery is a bit harsh and blame-casting.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics