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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Tips to catch cheating wives and how to recover afterwards. "
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, there is no trust in your marriage. Move on. While women do cheat, many of them do it because of emotional needs or physical needs not being met. And while men do cheat, many of them do it because of an innate desire for strange. Each motivation for a person in a situation with infidelity is going to be different. If you truly want to work on your marriage, you should focus on getting to the core of why there was cheating. But continuing to build mistrust by looking to "catch" her is just as thwarted as any cheating behavior. You should be able to say to your spouse - I don't trust you. This is why. Can we build on it? Can we go from here and do some work? If you can't do that, you don't have a place of trust to even hope for. It has to be an environment where you are willing, and so is she. It will require vulnerability, exposure (maybe at a different pace than what either of you are looking for), reinforcement with new learned behaviors (counseling helps here), diffusion of compounded issues (counseling helps here too), and a bunch of other things. Posting for tips on evidence gathering to ultimately affirm your insecurities is not the path to happiness. It's the path to self-validation. And at its core, validation on this issue is one that reinforces a self-worth much lower than it should be. You sound paralyzed by this. Move on. In one way (with your spouse) or another (without). Move on. [/quote]
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