Reply to Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

Anonymous wrote:

This is OP again. Do people feel guilty uprooting family when the breadwinner is unfulfilled/disgruntled at work but the rest of the family is settled/happy?

I'm in this situation OP though am equal partner not bread winner. DH is supportive of a move, though, as long as its the right one. In part because we need two incomes, he telecommutes, and I will likely be working longer than he will (I'm 8 years younger). But its also clear that my workplace is deeply dysfunctional and there significant changes ahead that may mean job cuts or ther shifts that will make my life even more miserable. and in my profession, its unlikely I would find a job without being willing to move as its just too specialized. finally, I turned down a dream job a couple years ago because he was just starting his new job and it would have entailed a move, so things work both ways. I have an outside shot at a chance for a job on the west coast where our families are, so that would be a win/win.

Thank you. Are there kids involved? Could you share ages and what their perspective is on a move? [/quote]

Hi OP, yes, there are two kids and that is my biggest hesitation after making sure that its actually a job worth moving for. They are early elementary--early enough that making new friends wont be as hard as middle school but still--they have great lives here. typical ride your bike neighborhood, walk to school, we have a nice house/yard , walk to great public schools, no long commutes anywhere, etc--hard to replicate if we move back to DC or to another big city where there's no easy answer (at our income level)to the trifecta--schools, housing, and commute.

For me, I would want the next move to be permanent--or at least until they are off to college. So that means making the right choice. If we ended up out west, there would be benefits for them--lots of family around, outdoor weather, beaches, etc. But it would be hard on them--all of us--to move somewhere entirely new.

[/quote]

Since you grew up here, I would think that you have a pretty good sense of the kind of life your kids would have.  It is a lot harder to live in MoCo than in, say, the suburbs of Milwaukee but as you've learned, what you gain in "quality of life" you lose in diversity, intellectualism, career opportunities, etc.  I sort of feel that growing up in NYC, for example, looks nothing like what I knew of growing up, but that doesn't mean it's lesser or that the kids there suffer. It's just what they know!  To me, things like the size of my kids' bedroom or lawn are less important than the experiences he is exposed to.

I think, for you, seeing if you can find the typical things companies/firms in this area offer to employees as incentives to deal with DC's... less charming features (telecommute days, bigger salary) would be a big deal.

Plus, it's your life too.  If you can't find your "people" in your new area, that matters.  I get it, I moved somewhere for my husband's job and moving back isn't in the cards for us but it's definitely been a difficult adjustment for me because I can't find my people.[/quote]

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