Anonymous
01/12/2018 10:33
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
People say a lot of awful things about the DMV, but I’ve lived several places and this is by far my favorite. And, I think the quality of life is high. Much higher than I had in the Midwest or the south. Also, better company. Because even when DC people are snarky or insufferable, they are snarky and insufferable in interesting and well considered ways. All you displaced DC people, come back. The real estate prices are fine. You’ll be fine.
Anonymous
01/12/2018 06:44
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Why wait?
Anonymous
01/10/2018 20:34
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:
We all need to start a facebook group for "displaced DCUMers who now live elsewhere and drink wine out of glass stemware and vaccinate our children"
Yes!!
This is OP. Given the cycle of hiring in schools for administrators, I think we’ll stay put for the next school year and then I’ll take older DC’s 7th, 8th & 9th grade years to try to find the right position to move back for. I will connect with placement people this spring, though. A unique challenge in private schools is that they are so mission driven that it can take time to find a place that really fits. That said, I will put out broader feelers this time around.
Thank you everyone for the responses and reassurances!
Anonymous
01/10/2018 15:40
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you guys, but wine in a sippy cup sounds pretty good to me right now....
I don't get the wine in a sippy cup reference...? People think putting wine in a sippy cup and drinking it is...? Subversive? Are they making a joke? I genuinally don't follow.
I don’t get it either. Why a sippy cup? Why not just a regular glass? Don’t understand.
This is why we all want to move back.
My understanding is that since sippy cups are for kids, drinking wine out of them is edgy — like, you’re a ‘cool, funny, doesn’t take herself too seriously’ mom. Maybe a little too harried to have a clean adult wine class.
Ok I am starting to understand. They see it as madcap and whimsical, with a measure of not giving a f***.
Yes, that would be grounds for moving for me too.
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic but it’s a good indicator of the broader underlying culture ... not an issue where I am - here it’s about looking 100% put together and trying to be trendy and feeling self-important and powerful when, having lived in both LA and DC, everyone is pretty darn the opposite of any of that.
Meant to say, I am PP and was not being sarcastic. That kind of environment would not be a good fit for me either.
We all need to start a facebook group for "displaced DCUMers who now live elsewhere and drink wine out of glass stemware and vaccinate our children"
Anonymous
01/10/2018 15:38
Subject: Re:Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
This is OP again. Do people feel guilty uprooting family when the breadwinner is unfulfilled/disgruntled at work but the rest of the family is settled/happy?
I'm in this situation OP though am equal partner not bread winner. DH is supportive of a move, though, as long as its the right one. In part because we need two incomes, he telecommutes, and I will likely be working longer than he will (I'm 8 years younger). But its also clear that my workplace is deeply dysfunctional and there significant changes ahead that may mean job cuts or ther shifts that will make my life even more miserable. and in my profession, its unlikely I would find a job without being willing to move as its just too specialized. finally, I turned down a dream job a couple years ago because he was just starting his new job and it would have entailed a move, so things work both ways. I have an outside shot at a chance for a job on the west coast where our families are, so that would be a win/win.
Thank you. Are there kids involved? Could you share ages and what their perspective is on a move?
Hi OP, yes, there are two kids and that is my biggest hesitation after making sure that its actually a job worth moving for. They are early elementary--early enough that making new friends wont be as hard as middle school but still--they have great lives here. typical ride your bike neighborhood, walk to school, we have a nice house/yard , walk to great public schools, no long commutes anywhere, etc--hard to replicate if we move back to DC or to another big city where there's no easy answer (at our income level)to the trifecta--schools, housing, and commute.
For me, I would want the next move to be permanent--or at least until they are off to college. So that means making the right choice. If we ended up out west, there would be benefits for them--lots of family around, outdoor weather, beaches, etc. But it would be hard on them--all of us--to move somewhere entirely new.
Since you grew up here, I would think that you have a pretty good sense of the kind of life your kids would have. It is a lot harder to live in MoCo than in, say, the suburbs of Milwaukee but as you've learned, what you gain in "quality of life" you lose in diversity, intellectualism, career opportunities, etc. I sort of feel that growing up in NYC, for example, looks nothing like what I knew of growing up, but that doesn't mean it's lesser or that the kids there suffer. It's just what they know! To me, things like the size of my kids' bedroom or lawn are less important than the experiences he is exposed to.
I think, for you, seeing if you can find the typical things companies/firms in this area offer to employees as incentives to deal with DC's... less charming features (telecommute days, bigger salary) would be a big deal.
Plus, it's your life too. If you can't find your "people" in your new area, that matters. I get it, I moved somewhere for my husband's job and moving back isn't in the cards for us but it's definitely been a difficult adjustment for me because I can't find my people.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 15:31
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I've posted in other threads so I'm sure my laments will be recognized: we moved to North Carolina for DH to advance his career and be closer to family. IT WAS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. We are miserable, me more than him, but our quality of life isn't exactly great when we're both unhappy. This is also a place where wine in sippy cups is seen as the height of cool momness. And it is just so intellectually vapid. Everyone here seems to be living utterly unexamined lives. Essential oils are the cure for everything. LuLaRoe parties are big social events. And people are really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally into Jesus and what you to know it. (And if I may say so, the local version of DCUM is painful! So many posts demonstrating exactly zero knowledge of pregnancy, infants, child development! "Can I have my 5 week old do cry it out?")
Thank god we didn't sell our house in DC, even if being a landlord can be a PITA. One less thing to have to worry about as far as logistics go. We are actively job hunting to get back.
Wow! I’m sorry. Are the kids happy where you are? How long ago did you move down?
We moved while I was pregnant, and baby just turned 1. Compounding things is this city has few, if any, jobs in my field, so I've been out of work for almost 18 months. It's awful. And every day I'm here is another day I'm not working and thus that much harder to get back into the workforce.
Like I said, this move was an absolute terrible idea. I don't know WTF we were thinking when we decided to do it.
I forgot to mention the prevalence of anti-vaxxers and delayed vaxxers. There are A LOT of them here. It's so frustrating to me because we need herd immunity and these parents are putting lots of people at risk by not vaccinating. It's also indicative of the type of people here. Anti-vaccines, essential oils for everything, amber teething necklaces, detoxing galore......facts and reality aren't given as much credence as magical thinking.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 14:14
Subject: Re:Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:
This is OP again. Do people feel guilty uprooting family when the breadwinner is unfulfilled/disgruntled at work but the rest of the family is settled/happy?
I'm in this situation OP though am equal partner not bread winner. DH is supportive of a move, though, as long as its the right one. In part because we need two incomes, he telecommutes, and I will likely be working longer than he will (I'm 8 years younger). But its also clear that my workplace is deeply dysfunctional and there significant changes ahead that may mean job cuts or ther shifts that will make my life even more miserable. and in my profession, its unlikely I would find a job without being willing to move as its just too specialized. finally, I turned down a dream job a couple years ago because he was just starting his new job and it would have entailed a move, so things work both ways. I have an outside shot at a chance for a job on the west coast where our families are, so that would be a win/win.
Thank you. Are there kids involved? Could you share ages and what their perspective is on a move?
Hi OP, yes, there are two kids and that is my biggest hesitation after making sure that its actually a job worth moving for. They are early elementary--early enough that making new friends wont be as hard as middle school but still--they have great lives here. typical ride your bike neighborhood, walk to school, we have a nice house/yard , walk to great public schools, no long commutes anywhere, etc--hard to replicate if we move back to DC or to another big city where there's no easy answer (at our income level)to the trifecta--schools, housing, and commute.
For me, I would want the next move to be permanent--or at least until they are off to college. So that means making the right choice. If we ended up out west, there would be benefits for them--lots of family around, outdoor weather, beaches, etc. But it would be hard on them--all of us--to move somewhere entirely new.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 14:10
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I've posted in other threads so I'm sure my laments will be recognized: we moved to North Carolina for DH to advance his career and be closer to family. IT WAS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. We are miserable, me more than him, but our quality of life isn't exactly great when we're both unhappy. This is also a place where wine in sippy cups is seen as the height of cool momness. And it is just so intellectually vapid. Everyone here seems to be living utterly unexamined lives. Essential oils are the cure for everything. LuLaRoe parties are big social events. And people are really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally into Jesus and what you to know it. (And if I may say so, the local version of DCUM is painful! So many posts demonstrating exactly zero knowledge of pregnancy, infants, child development! "Can I have my 5 week old do cry it out?")
Thank god we didn't sell our house in DC, even if being a landlord can be a PITA. One less thing to have to worry about as far as logistics go. We are actively job hunting to get back.
Wow! I’m sorry. Are the kids happy where you are? How long ago did you move down?
We moved while I was pregnant, and baby just turned 1. Compounding things is this city has few, if any, jobs in my field, so I've been out of work for almost 18 months. It's awful. And every day I'm here is another day I'm not working and thus that much harder to get back into the workforce.
Like I said, this move was an absolute terrible idea. I don't know WTF we were thinking when we decided to do it.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 09:12
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Come back OP! You sound like good people.
Seriously, start shopping your resume around, it can't hurt.
Seriously, start shopping your resume around, it can't hurt.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 08:41
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you guys, but wine in a sippy cup sounds pretty good to me right now....
I don't get the wine in a sippy cup reference...? People think putting wine in a sippy cup and drinking it is...? Subversive? Are they making a joke? I genuinally don't follow.
I don’t get it either. Why a sippy cup? Why not just a regular glass? Don’t understand.
This is why we all want to move back.
My understanding is that since sippy cups are for kids, drinking wine out of them is edgy — like, you’re a ‘cool, funny, doesn’t take herself too seriously’ mom. Maybe a little too harried to have a clean adult wine class.
Ok I am starting to understand. They see it as madcap and whimsical, with a measure of not giving a f***.
Yes, that would be grounds for moving for me too.
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic but it’s a good indicator of the broader underlying culture ... not an issue where I am - here it’s about looking 100% put together and trying to be trendy and feeling self-important and powerful when, having lived in both LA and DC, everyone is pretty darn the opposite of any of that.
Meant to say, I am PP and was not being sarcastic. That kind of environment would not be a good fit for me either.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 08:37
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you guys, but wine in a sippy cup sounds pretty good to me right now....
I don't get the wine in a sippy cup reference...? People think putting wine in a sippy cup and drinking it is...? Subversive? Are they making a joke? I genuinally don't follow.
I don’t get it either. Why a sippy cup? Why not just a regular glass? Don’t understand.
This is why we all want to move back.
My understanding is that since sippy cups are for kids, drinking wine out of them is edgy — like, you’re a ‘cool, funny, doesn’t take herself too seriously’ mom. Maybe a little too harried to have a clean adult wine class.
PP here, not being sarcastic at all!
Ok I am starting to understand. They see it as madcap and whimsical, with a measure of not giving a f***.
Yes, that would be grounds for moving for me too.
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic but it’s a good indicator of the broader underlying culture ... not an issue where I am - here it’s about looking 100% put together and trying to be trendy and feeling self-important and powerful when, having lived in both LA and DC, everyone is pretty darn the opposite of any of that.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 08:28
Subject: Re:Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
This thread really makes me appreciate DC and MoCo! I love you people.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 07:17
Subject: Re:Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
I don't think it's wine in a real sippy cup, it's in a travel mug so you can take it outside. Subversive because illegal in some places. Sad because do you need wine everywhere?
Anonymous
01/10/2018 07:01
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you guys, but wine in a sippy cup sounds pretty good to me right now....
I don't get the wine in a sippy cup reference...? People think putting wine in a sippy cup and drinking it is...? Subversive? Are they making a joke? I genuinally don't follow.
I don’t get it either. Why a sippy cup? Why not just a regular glass? Don’t understand.
This is why we all want to move back.
My understanding is that since sippy cups are for kids, drinking wine out of them is edgy — like, you’re a ‘cool, funny, doesn’t take herself too seriously’ mom. Maybe a little too harried to have a clean adult wine class.
Ok I am starting to understand. They see it as madcap and whimsical, with a measure of not giving a f***.
Yes, that would be grounds for moving for me too.
I was one of the first folks to mention wine in a sippy cup on this thread, and yes, they see it as subversive. More to the point, though, I think it is masking a pretty deep unhappiness. The women in the community where I lived were really unhappy, and it manifested through near-constant drinking and exercise. No, I don't know how they made it through Pilates when they'd be drinking all morning. I'm guessing a high tolerance.
I think most of them had worked at one point, and gave it up to SAH. Then...their kids hit school age and didn't really need them anymore, so what then? Either drinking, Pilates, and casually racist gossip about the neighborhood (Did you HEAR that Stephanie on Girard Avenue's daughter is dating a boy she met at a nightclub....in the CITY?!!?), or another baby. Those were the choices.
But, as references the discussion about white women drinking too much, YES. These women drank in the morning, drank in the afternoon, and drank at night while discussing "Eat Pray Love" at book club.
Maybe that's someone's idea of the good life, but it wasn't mine.
Anonymous
01/10/2018 06:49
Subject: Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you guys, but wine in a sippy cup sounds pretty good to me right now....
I don't get the wine in a sippy cup reference...? People think putting wine in a sippy cup and drinking it is...? Subversive? Are they making a joke? I genuinally don't follow.
I don’t get it either. Why a sippy cup? Why not just a regular glass? Don’t understand.
This is why we all want to move back.
My understanding is that since sippy cups are for kids, drinking wine out of them is edgy — like, you’re a ‘cool, funny, doesn’t take herself too seriously’ mom. Maybe a little too harried to have a clean adult wine class.
Ok I am starting to understand. They see it as madcap and whimsical, with a measure of not giving a f***.
Yes, that would be grounds for moving for me too.
I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic but it’s a good indicator of the broader underlying culture ... not an issue where I am - here it’s about looking 100% put together and trying to be trendy and feeling self-important and powerful when, having lived in both LA and DC, everyone is pretty darn the opposite of any of that.