Reply to Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?

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Reply to "Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am super liberal in every other way, but when it comes to divorced parents with children dating I am 100% with Dr. Laura Schlesinger on this. She tells people not to date until your kids are grown. Your kids don’t need a step parent or step siblings or a new half sibling when they’ve already experienced the trauma and loss of their family.[/quote]

Whatever - blanket rules are not appropriate or helpful.  Every divorce is different.  Widowhood is different.  "Dr. Laura" makes money to give advice in a way that matches her conservative worldview -- that's gives her no credit.

You shouldn't start to date until you've got your own shit together for yourself and your kids -- including an understanding of your own baggage.  (Frankly, for some people, this means they shouldn't date again, ever.)  But when you're ready, and if you want to, date.  And if you find someone that will make a good life partner, partner up.

I separated from my XH when I was about 34.  I didn't date for quite awhile.  And guess what - I'm pretty, confident, fun, and fat (think the slim version of Melissa McCarthy.)  I didn't have any trouble getting dates.  Also, don't discount the career angle.  I have a very good career and that matters/ed to the former and current boyfriend.  I think quality men look at the career angle because most aren't interested in someone that they have to take care of financially.  My boyfriend/life partner and I have now been together for 4.5 years.  We live together but are choosing not to get married at this time -- primarily because we'd get killed on taxes.  Neither of us wants anymore kids and our kids get along great.  Everyone -- especially my children -- are better off seeing a strong, loving relationship and having all the additional love in their lives from my BF's family.  The kids' dad is - from what I can tell - happier as well.  Remarried and has a kid that my kids adore.

So no, you don't have to martyr yourself after a divorce.  [/quote]

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