Reply to I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA

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Reply to "I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, so far this is all about you and your feelings, of hurt, of loss, of love, etc. And so was the breakup--he was sick and YOU couldn't handle it. The point is that you are putting your feelings above his and that is not love, is insecurity, obsession and possessiveness. If you really cared about him in an unselfish and mature way, you would have flown out to see him when he was sick, offering to help him, and rescheduled the trip. Instead you freaked out. if I were dating someone who 4 months in couldn't handle disappointment and distance, I would end it.

Now, you want to show up because "you need to," but this is a very, very bad idea to do unannounced. Once again, its not about him, its about you. You are putting him in a horrible position--forcing him to deal with you, when he's already made it clear that he doesn't want to. If some guy I was dating and had ended it with did this to me, I'd freak the F out and assume they were truly mentally ill and possibly abusive/stalker. You do NOT want to be this person.

If you want to get back together, your best bet is to write him a letter with an apology and some insight into your own behavior, and to say that you'd like to try again, but that this time you will respect boundaries.  Although it doesn't sound to me like you are actually able to do that.

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