Reply to I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I'm going to fly across the country and try to get my long-distance ex boyfriend back AMA"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since you seem to have an impulsive personality ... Do you really think if he is not receptive to talking when you show up to his front door that you will just calmly leave?  No, you will freak out, likely cause a scene and it will not be a good look for you.

Give him some space and time to enjoy the holidays.  You do the same and then reassess in the new year when hopefully clearer heads will prevail.[/quote]

NP here. The post above is very perceptive. OP, you seem to be picturing this as having some rom-com ending. But as PP points out, whatever image you have in your head of how this scene will play out, the reality is that you will have flown long distance to turn up on the doorstep so it's not likely you'll just turn around and leave if he tells you he isn't interested. If you can tell he's home but he won't answer the door, what then? Throw pebbles at his window until he opens it and you pledge your love to him through his open window--?

Can you see how you're pursuing this trip as if it's some movie plot where your dash to see him will seem so attractively romantic that he'll see the light and want you back? This is why so many on here are telling you not to do this. You need to grow some self-awareness and explore why you were so invested in his canceled visit that you immaturely freaked out when he got sick -- something he couldn't control, and which most adults would understand was a circumstance out of his, or your, control. If, as some PPs think, he might have faked illness to avoid his trip, well, you blew any chance at changing his mind when you freaked out on him. Either way, real pneumonia or fake illness, your reaction told him you're too intense for him and confirmed that you can't handle adversity in a relationship. Turning up on his doorstep after four months of dating will confirm that yet again.

New Year's resolutions: Stop dating anyone for a while. Get involved in some activities that focus you outward, like volunteering. Get more invested in your work. Get off dating sites. Work on being you without a boyfriend and even without dating, for a while. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics