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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "Your teenagers are delightful people "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All I can say is if you leave the heavy lifting of parenting and maintaining life up to mom, the kids notice. They will know exactly how much she does and both appreciate her for it and resent that so much is laid upon her alone. If you divorce, be mindful of sticking around-physically and emotionally/mentally. It seems to be a common thing that divorce happens, dad moves on, and kids feel left behind/unwanted and know what a burden it is on their mom to take it all up. Remember they are kids and even if you're trying to make them resilient and strong adults, they do also need their parents to occasionally just be proud of them. If you're pushing them for good grades or making a sport or getting into a school, I as an adult get that it's because you want what's best for them. But it can make them feel unliked, unappreciated, and not good enough. In the vaguest, most general of terms, these seem to be the most persistent things that kids struggle with in re: dads. They do NOT mention these characteristics in relation to moms, for whatever that's worth. [/quote] I once saw a documentary on the unique contribution that only fathers can make and that was validation. Moms can validate too but it does not carry as much weight as when coming from dad because kids subconsciously feel that mom loves me no matter what but dad's love/validation has to be earned. As a divorced mom, much of what you say above post-divorce rings true and I feel so bad that I cannot give my kids the dad they (I think) deserve. Makes me feel like I failed them in a major way.[/quote]
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