Reply to Do parents/in laws have any right to expect an effort at family togetherness?

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Reply to "Do parents/in laws have any right to expect an effort at family togetherness?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

You don’t know sh*t about my life or what I overcame to be happy, healthy, and doing well. It is in spite of my family, not because of them. They don’t have the right to rewrite history or to avoid the natural consequences of their decisions. [/quote]

PP here. I’ll provide some context:

- early childhood was marked by physical fights between my parents. Blood, broken bones, and police visits were not uncommon. I cowered in fear in a corner, praying it would end.  While nobody hit me (beyond  spanking), they either didn’t pay any attention to me, or they were neglectful and played mind games with me as a young child. There were also a lot of drugs in the house and druggie friends coming over. 
- When that marriage finally ended, after the related drama and trauma, my mother brought home guy after guy. I was in middle school and hid in my room while she “entertained” them. I lost friends because they were no longer allowed to associate with me. 
- My mom finally remarried and things got a little more stable. But my mother continued to be, at best, emotionally detached. Maybe neglectful and manipulative.  I remember one fight we had where she accused me of sleeping around in high school because a boyfriend bought me flowers.  She was screaming at me, asking me what I did to earn the flowers. (I was still a virgin). 
- I moved away for college on scholarships. I took out loans for grad school. I was determined to get an education and move away. I met a great guy, got married, and started a family. But I still have a lot of stuff to work through from my childhood. 
- Because my mom has a stable marriage now and is getting older, she suddenly shows an interest in my kids, but still not me. [/quote]

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