Reply to WWYD: Boyfriend said he'd be over soon. That was an hour and a half ago.

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Reply to "WWYD: Boyfriend said he'd be over soon. That was an hour and a half ago. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am crazy ? thanks y'all, love you so much DCUM[/quote]

I think what people were trying to tell you is that you shouldn't be afraid to express your needs, and you need to learn to not take things to personally if you have any chance of a being in a relationship.  The reason he's not rushing over is not that he doesn't want to be with you.  It is that he is tired, hungry and trying to take care of his own needs.  If that doesn't work for you, just tell him next time, "Hey I'd love to see you tonight, but I'm really tired and I want to go to bed by 10.  Can you be here by 8:30?  If not, let's hang out tomorrow."  Women often anticipate other people's needs, but most men just aren't that way.  They need to be told what your needs are in a straightforward way.  [/quote]

Be very careful going this route when you're dating! Keep this up and he'll start looking twice at the cute girl with the nice smile that doesn't have as many "needs" and who he doesn't know spends her nights crying. Dating is about keeping up appearances- sorry but true. Be cool next time! [/quote]

Disagree that OP has to hide her needs so she won’t be kicked to the curb.  At some level, you have to be compatible.  If her BF likes to make plans last minute and roll in when he gets there, there is no point in her pretending she is cool with it if she really isn’t.  By being up front he can make the decision that he needs more time at home that evening and now doesn’t feel this pressure to fit in all these things, he can move some things around to get there by 8:30, or he realizes that he needs someone that is fine with last minute.   But it his choice and he goes in knowing the deal and OP gets what she needs whatever his choice is - either he is there to spend time with her, she gets to relax and not on the lookout for him, or she ends up available to find someone that is a better match.[/quote]

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