Reply to Parental Involvement in College Decision Process

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[quote=Anonymous]It's wonderful that some of you can afford to send your child to any college they choose, and simply allow them to make all the decisions on where to attend, but many of us are not in that boat.

We have been involved in our DC's college search. We have laid out what we can afford to pay towards undergrad, and have said that for anything above that price, DC will have to rely on his own merits regarding scholarships, etc. He can apply anywhere he chooses, albeit knowing that our own financial limitations may restrict him from accepting certain schools if he gets in. We will not be taking out major loans, and we discourage him from doing so as well.

That being said, we do support him making the choice of wherever he wants to apply. He made a late decision to switch from the natural sciences major he focused on for years to a more technical field instead, which totally changed the colleges that we looked at from the beginning of his junior year.  He's chosen a major that not a lot of universities offer, so that cut out a lot of schools. He also decided that he wanted to stay in the northeast - we suggested a few excellent schools in other locations, but he was not interested!

We researched which universities had top marks in his newly chosen field, then visited those that appealed to him. It was very interesting to see his preferences come out, and how the "fit" of each school mattered to him. Some schools that I would have loved, he did not care for, and they went much further down on his list of potentials. Right now his top school is one that his dad has reservations about, but if he can get the merit aid needed, that is likely where he will go. His dad is hoping that DC's number 2 school will come through, but that is also out of our ability to pay for. He has a local university within our price range within his top five as a safety, and understands that that may be his fallback school if others don't accept him or offer enough merit/aid to cover costs. We have encouraged him to apply widely to target schools, with a few safeties and reaches in the mix. I have no doubt that he will be accepted to a school that offers his desired major and which he will enjoy - it just may not be his top choice school. We're just waiting to see who accepts him and what $ comes through!

Certainly he has appreciated our help with the paperwork - if he had to fill in the FAFSA, CSS and other financial paperwork on his own, I suspect there would have been errors that may have impacted his future. So much of that concerned parental finances, and I suspect a lot of kids are not on top of where all the family finances are distributed. Once the final acceptances come in, we will sit down and help him consider the pros and cons of each school, but the final choice will be his. Thus far, he has appreciated our help, as sifting through all the choices, the forms, the planning and paperwork can be overwhelming, even for an adult. It's finding the right balance so that your child gets the guidance they need.[/quote]

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