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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?[/quote]

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with. [/quote]

How tall are you?  110 lbs is REALLY skinny.  You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness.  I think it was one of the best choices I made. [/quote]

I get way more looks now at 140.  I do think there's something to be said for filtering out the men with weight issues  [/quote]

You know, I think there may be something to this. Although obviously I haven't seen your body / how you carry it, OP, 110 IS very skinny. Not thin, skinny. There is definitely a subset of men for whom a) physical fitness and being in perfect shape - think religious time-consuming workout schedule, gym culture, appearance obsessed, protein shakes...not that any one of these things is bad, but you know the type - is their absolute #1 priority to the point of it being their defining feature / way of life, and b) having a super ("unattainably") skinny wife is a status symbol, and being with someone fat (or someone who, as they're seeing it, is 'okay with being fat') is seriously their worst nightmare. I am in no way defending it, trust me, but would expect those guys to rule you out. Not that you wanted them anyways! But I could see how, if you're super skinny currently, you'd be meeting and dating more than average numbers of this type of guy.

I think PP gave you good advice. Also, unfortunately, as you age and especially if you decide to get pregnant, you will have to be insanely vigilant. And sometimes in the midst of cravings and hormonal shifts and stress and sleep deprivation and adjusted priorities (not to mention depression etc)...that focus slips for a bit. So do yourself a favor and hold out for a great guy who loves you for you, and isn't skinny-obsessed. (I would also have to second that I get a lot more male attention at 130ish than at 115. You will even read it on here all the time - guys like some curves, not skinny hard flat bodies.)[/quote]

+10000 to all of this.  You summed it up perfectly.

And, in my experience, many of these guys who want a very skinny woman are actually not in great shape themselves.  Hence them obsessing over having a woman who is super skinny, because it's "proof" that they are in that group, defacto, that they want to be in.  Many men feel insecure about their weight or know they aren't adonises- so locking down a woman with very low body fat, they feel, is a kind of validation.  I dealt with my fair share of those guys, and I always felt more like i was some kind of token- like they weren't actually that into me- they wanted respect from other MEN, hence going after me.

At a higher weight, I feel I actually get more attention from guys who are pretty muscular.  They seem to like the fact that I have a butt, boobs, hips, now.  YMMV and everyone carries weight differently, but I actually much prefer the attention I get at this size. I recently got sick and dropped weight and i noticed the positive attention dropping off too.  It's funny, because it seems almost counterintuitive from what women tell ourselves.  But I know for sure that the male attention I get at this size is much higher quality than when I was smaller.[/quote]

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