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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My take away from this is that there are all of this little social cues and social capital that we all take for granted that ends up keeping poorer people out of certain things.

The article David Brooks wrote resonated with me. I am going through the college selection/application process now with my kid and it actually turns my stomach to think about all of the ways disadvantaged kids are shut out and all of the hurdles that you have to cross.  And how we get sidetracked by stuff like affirmative action. Here are some of the challenges I can think of:

-living in a neighborhood with good schools and good guidance counselors and college application support
-being the academic track to take AP classes or the right classes
-Being able to afford multiple AP tests
-Being able to afford multiple ACT/SAT tests
-Having solid academic support or being able to afford tutors or have the social capital to know where to go to get help at low cost
-Understanding the college application process, deadlines, financial aid process
-Having the confidence to even apply for top schools
-Knowing how to connect with admissions officers
-Being able to visit schools

Obviously everyone wants the best for their kid, but I never really thought about how I am contributing and participating in this system that actually leaves others behind.  For me this is just one of those conversations that is food-for-thought and has given me a lot to think about.  I am also Black so thinking about this is actually torture.[/quote]

No, it's about priorities. To each of your points:

1. School performance is largely dependent on parental involvement. Which of our surrounding counties has the worst schools? PG. Go take a look at the school threads for the counties, and see what the degree of parental involvement for PG is compared against the other counties. Don't blame the teachers and guidance counselors - they are not substitutes for parenting.

2. Regarding academic track and AP classes: see #1

3. Again a matter of life priorities. The reduced fee for AP test is $53, I refuse to believe that a family cannot find $53 to take the AP test.

4. Life priorities: it's a $57 test, and there are fee waivers available for low income families. The money barrier simply is not there.

5. Academic support is again a family function. I can see the point about tutors, but one does not need tutors to be successful.

6. We all have to learn the application process, I don't see this is especially difficult for people who are in the lower SES. Are you arguing that they are less capable?

7. Confidence is again a combination of upbringing and personal achievement. I think the masses have swung to far on the confidence scale. Everyone thinks they are special.

8. Helping your child develop inter-personal skills is a parental function.

9. You don't need to visit schools, and it affords you no special preference when applying to the schools. It's pretty much a vacation.

I am Asian and there are plenty of poor Asian immigrants. My oldest has a classmate - good kid, very polite, very confident, popular among his peers. His parents are blue collar workers, one is a cashier and the other one is a restaurant cook. They don't buy fancy clothes, no fancy hair cuts, old Japanese beater cars, they bought into an affordable corner of the good school pyramid, and send their kid to many of the tutoring workshops that are popular with Asians. That kid was always in the GT program and currently has better grades than mine in the same classes. I don't know if he is going on a college tour, my guess is no, but I wouldn't be surprised if his parents scrimped and saved to make that happen. He is kind, happy, and very hard working, just like his parents. Yet he knows that despite all his efforts and those of his parents, a college admission officer will favor a black student over him because of his race. You telling me this is a more fair state of affairs?[/quote]

But it is not just a matter of priorities, it is absolutely a matter of knowledge, perspective, and even the ability to choose your priorities. My nanny has a sister with a five year old daughter, both of whom recently arrived from El Salvador (yes, all are legal so let's avoid that debate). Sister speaks no English, is 22, and was living with a friend of her grandmother. Parties were frequently happening at all hours and it was clearly not a safe place for the child. They ended up staying with me for several months. Five year old had never been in a preschool setting as this was not the norm where she lived. Mother knew nothing about the DC school lottery, good school zones, and literally had no idea that this was even information that was available to seek out. The issue wasn't that mom didn't prioritize a good school, it was that she had no idea that within DC there were good schools and bad and that there was a way to determine which were which and to increase the likelihood that your child would attend a good one. My child, who just turned three already has more "school readiness" skills than this five year old and my child got into a school we consider acceptable in the lottery, because I knew to apply, while my nanny's niece was stuck with our inbound that I don't consider acceptable, particularly for K and above. They have since moved elsewhere but I expect this to repeat in similar situations. There is absolutely an advantage that my kids have that this child will never be able to compete with and this is apparent at such an early age.[/quote]

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