Reply to Why do parents let their 13-15 year old girls take Uber home from concerts at midnight?

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Reply to "Why do parents let their 13-15 year old girls take Uber home from concerts at midnight?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I feel like I can't be there for every single thing my children do. I want them to be independent and have their own experiences. I can't do background checks on every adult they interact with. I do my best to set them up for success, talk about safety, give them the tools they need to excel.

But everything is dangerous. One of the most dangerous things we do is drive or be passengers in cars. Yet no one bats an eye at that because it's so common.

Sometimes the choice isn't pick my kids up myself or let them uber home. Sometimes the choice is let them uber home or don't let them go at all. Sometimes the experience is worth the (tiny) risk.

I wonder how many of the posters criticizing allowing teens to use uber are parents whose children aren't teenagers yet, considering this is on GP instead of the teen board. I know when my dd was 3, I couldn't imagine letting her ride with a stranger or use public transportation alone. But she grew, and we're growing. And now she's 14, a rising sophomore, and in 3 short years she'll be moving away to college. All I can do is hope I've taught her how to manage safely on her own. For me, part of that is realizing that if I daddy get her to adulthood in a bubble and never let her take any calculated risks, I haven't taught her how to live in the real world. [/quote]

This is the most sane post here yet.

For those arguing that they want to shield their child from a "crime of opportunity," I'm sorry, but the only way to do that is to never let them leave your sight, ever. Which is obviously completely ridiculous. Since the dawn of time, assaults and sex crimes have been committed on women and children by: family members, strangers, teachers, service workers, clergy, coaches, friends, siblings and families of friends, neighbors, their own friends, and I'm sure here are many more classes of people I could name. So by your logic, to prevent them from falling victim to any crime of opportunity they must never be alone with any of the above named individuals. [/quote]

Yeah. I too want my underage daughter to have the experience of being hit on by leacherous men, so she can know what the real world is like and then we can go to Starbucks  for a latte and havea hear to heart.[/quote]

[b]You don't get it. It's going to happen no matter how much you want to shelter her. The right thing to do is to teach her how to handle the situation and how to react[/b]. [/quote]

I'm not the quoted PP but the response I bolded here is just naïve, to be blunt. "The right thing to do" is to ensure you never put your own child into a situation that is potentially stupidly dangerous just so you can prove to the world you're Not A Helicopter Parent.

You can teach all the self-defense and "reactions" you want, but if a stranger has your kid already in a vehicle, how does the kid "react" once the doors are locked by the driver and the driver is speeding away with your kid? Try to grab the driver by the throat from the back seat? Try to get over the seat and take the wheel somehow? And crash in the attempt? No amount of self-defense classes or role-playing with mom or dad is going to prepare her for that situation.

As for having the phone in your hand to call 911 just in case -- assuming the driver hasn't already threatened the kid and made her or him hand over the phone -- it's already too late.

Yeah, do teach tweens and teens serious self-defense for life in general. I believe in that. But there is nothing wrong, and everything right, with teaching a kid to make smart choices and that includes the choice not to get into a car with a stranger. We tell our younger kids never, ever get in a car with a stranger, then tell tweens and teens it's fine because, hey, everyone uses Uber. They check their drivers out, right? I looked up their so-called background checks. It's a joke--Google it. And no, I wouldn't let my kid take a taxi alone either at this age.
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