Reply to Wanted big family but think we can only handle two kids. Sad.

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Wanted big family but think we can only handle two kids. Sad."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't be sad. Be happy you realized your limitations unlike me. We probably should have stopped at two. I am going to tell you the downsides of not listening to your gut. I in no way regret the additional two we had, just look back in hindsight to give you some insight.

My husband is add and has some depression issues. We both work. I can't quit for a variety of reasons. We have a child with ADHD.  The stress of dealing with my husbands limitations and my son has nearly destroyed our marriage. We may make it out ok, we'll see.

The sheer noise of four children puts my husband over the edge. It is really hard to travel to hotels, everything costs way more because you need more plane tickets, extra or larger rooms. My children cannot do as many extra curricular activities because we just can't handle all the running. Your lifestyle changes a lot with more kids. [/quote]

ditto.  I too have 4.  It is very, very hard on a marriage.  Kids have a blast, but the parents definitely sacrifice, perhaps too much for their health and well-being.[/quote]
I have 4 and totally agree with this.  I end up yelling at my kids all the time because they are so freaking loud.  Dh works a lot, and so the kids can't do individual activities (only coordinated ones like ice skating or swimming or gymnastics where at least one other can do it at the same time).  They don't mind, but it's not fair if you think about it.  Dh and I don't have time for ourselves at all, it's very hard to work full time and manage it all.[/quote]

I have a sister who has 4, and I grew up as one of 5, and will add another "ditto" to this. My sister is at her wits end most days, and she's a good mom, but her mental health and marriage take a huge hit. My parents had the financial resources but honestly not the emotional resources and we all are (fine, but) a bit stunted in the attachment area of life. It was fun growing up in a big family, but I think we all suffered for it a bit. I wish my parents and my sister had stopped at two or even three, for the sake of the parents AND the kids. (Disclaimer: I know this experience is not universal, many people parented lots of kids or were kids in big families and had a wonderful overall experience with that, just voicing my own experience here.)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics