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[quote=Anonymous]This isn't about the kids--this is about you and your BF.  This is significant and concerning if you are considering marriage and blending families.  This isn't a playdate situation.

OP, re-read your posts about your BF.  You have major issues with his parenting.  You have issues with his expectations about division of labor (you hosting, etc.).  You have issues with how he behaves toward or speaks of your kids.

Have you talked to your BF about these and made specific proposals?  If you're talking marriage, you have every right and really should.  These are big issues.  To have ANY chance at a successful relationship between the two of you (not to mention a healthy childhood for your kids), you have got to be able to discuss these issues openly with your BF and both be able to compromise on some things.

I have a blended family, total 4 kids (2 mine, 2 his).  We took things slowly in terms of introducing the kids to the other person, then the other kids, built up over time (like over 3 years).  At first I had concerns about his parenting, honestly. While a great father in so many ways, he was the primary parent and full time career and was too permissive about screen time.  Didn't do chores, were kind and overall good kids but had been catered to too much.  I gently raised this with then-BF by highlighting how it impacted our time together.  For us to have a chance together, we had to meet in the middle.  He made major changes in his household, implemented over time.  I changed some things too (mostly loosened up).

It's been great.  But only b/c we're respectful of the other, really listen, and each is willing to make changes.  If he hadn't have been open to changing things or hearing me, I'd have moved on.[/quote]

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