Reply to No food at ILs

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "No food at ILs"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Agree – don't stay with her anymore. But I think your husband needs to have a talk with your mom, and explain that you both are often hungry at her house, and feel  scrutinized whenever you go into the kitchen to get food.  He could go on to say that you need to have a regular lunch and a more filling dinner, and that you realize that your need for this may place a burden on her. So that therefore, you'll continue to enjoy spending time with them, but the two of you will manage your own meals.

Having written this, I can see that it's going to open up a huge can of worms. But I think being straight and direct about your needs, and not compromising or let her continue to control your food and eating habits when you stay with with her or visit her is important. [/quote]

NP here. I second this post with a strong caution that DH, not you, needs to handle this, as this post notes. He should be clear that HE is hungry, he does understand that having guests throws them off their cooking routines, and he is not upset or angry, but only wants everyone to have a comfortable visit, and for him that means the two of you handling your own food needs. This should come from him so that his parents can't tell themselves that you're "behind it" or that you're criticizing them via him. (If the situation involved your parents instead of his, I'd say you needed to be the one having this talk. Each spouse handles issues involving his or her own parents.)

I do agree with a PP that older people often eat less; their appetites are lower than when they were younger, for some; and routines can become very important in ways we don't always understand. My own mom ate like a bird as she got older and had always hated cooking, but she never would have monitored our eating or opposed our going into her kitchen to cook or eat anytime. Maybe your in-laws are not even realizing they eat much less than you do. I'd try to approach the issue with understanding for their age and adherence to routine, and I'd work with DH to script a direct but kind talk about doing your own thing regarding food.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics