Reply to Should DD be upset most of her friends went to beachhouse weekend of her open house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All I can take away from this thread is who has all these weird customs?  All seems so antiquated and bizarre.  This has to be some kind of regional thing.

Yes, it wasn't particularly thoughtful for the friends to choose a beach weekend over a prior commitment, but the fun factor of one vs. the other is so divergent that even though you and your DD might feel bummed, you kind of have to get it.  I would have cancelled this "party" so DD could go.[/quote]

But the converse is also true... it's not all about you, you RSVP'd yes and you follow that commitment unless you are sick. You don't go with the "better offer". It's rude. [/quote]

Quoted PP  here.

I know you're right, and you know you're right, but we both know that if you expect people to stick to that kind of a blah commitment compared to the fun alternative, you're going to get hurt over and over.  Do you want to have fun or do you want to be right?  Cancel this 'open house' whatever it is and let the kid go have fun.  Reschedule the 'open house'.  Whatever.  Is it that big of a deal?  [/quote]

I think it is okay to be sad. I don't think being sad is a "big deal". I don't want to be right, I want to be kind and sometimes being kind is not fun. I am sure my kids will be rude in the future and dis a friend for a "fun time" but I won't say... cool, good job. I will say, "that was rude and the person has a right to be disappointed".

I would say to OP's daughter, "that was rude and you have a right to be disappointed".

Okay, you cancel the party move it to another week, now all the kids are on their planned European trip. You can't chase "yes" on the RSVP. [/quote]

I meant is the party that much of a big deal (yeah, I still don't get it - the takeaway for me should be that who throws such a big party for high school graduation that people travel and there are caterers??  Hopefully this is the first of several graduations for her since this isn't 1950 and she's not off to the chapel).

Yes of course it is ok to be sad.  But obviously OP's DD was being stubborn - her own mother just said she should have gone!  So seriously, she was having a sulk-fest and while it is fine to clutch the pearls and say this was poor etiquette to break the RSVP, I suspect based on the full story we now have that that wasn't DD's issue.

Takeaway should be that who throws such a big party for high school graduation that people travel and there are caterers??  Hopefully this is the first of several graduations for he[/quote]

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