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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter has ended up with serious physical illness due to all the pressure at her school and among her peers to get into what is perceived as the "right" school.   Her college applications are done and she has chosen a university - not her first or second choice - but one with a highly ranked program in her major and significant financial aid. Despite this, she keeps doubting herself.  My wife and I have told her to stop worrying ( something I was surprised to hear my DW say, since she is IMHO an overbearing parent and only I moderate her influence on DD) and to gratefully accept what she has received.  My DD is now seeing a therapist because of all the anxiety this has created, and she is on serious medications for what could be a lifelong chronic illness caused by all the anxiety.  All this needs to stop!  We are not helping are kids by demanding they be perfect!  If having a happy, healthy daughter with a C average means having a happy, healthy daughter, I will take that over the A+ with the perfect mix of ECs and the Ivy admittance!

I am a big fan of Julie Lythcott - Haims, formerly a Dean of Admissions at Stanford, noted author of "How to Raise an Adult" and the host of the "Getting In" podcast.  The purpose of raising out kids is to raise them to be happy , successful adults, and, contrary to some popular opinions on these boards, happy and successful adults do come out other universities and colleges other than the very small number of them who reject the majority of their applicants yet which many parents seem to focus all their attention as the key to good and happy life.

[url]https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting[/url][/quote]

My best friend's 2 teenage girls dropped out of their beloved sports to keep up academically with their AP courses. They are always stressed and my friend now has anxiety for her girls.  She doesn't push them, but they push themselves to compete with the other kids.  Neither of us finds it healthy, we had a much nicer and less stressful time in high school and we both did fine.  Per my friend's request, my husband had a talk with them.  He told them it is admirable that they are so dedicated to their studies, but that a healthy mind and body are also important.  My husband is extremely successful and he went to Mason!  He feels sports have always been key to helping him be the person he is now.  I find it so sad that kids are this stressed.  Geez.[/quote]

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