Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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Reply to "Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that the OP is the only one who is able to tell whether this relationship can or should be compartmentalized.

My husband had a terrible relationship with his mom growing up. She was verbally and emotionally abusive to him, with the result that he ended up moving out when he was a little shy of 17 and barely communicated with her for many years. To this day, he has a hard time being around her, because his experience with has historically been pretty fraught with emotional baggage. She is, however, a fantastic grandmother to our daughters, and even though his relationship with her isn't great, he is proud of being able to set that aside enough that she gets to be an awesome grandma.

But his issues with her are in the past. If she was being verbally and emotionally abusive now, neither one of us would be interested in being around her, regardless of what a great grandma she might hypothetically be. At the end of the day, it is the business of the adult child to decide what relationship their parents have with their children. Some situations are either so severe or so on-going that they preclude a relationship right now.[/quote]

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