Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Unless she's abusive to the kids (and she may very well be), theirs is a separate relationship from yours.  I wouldn't deny my kids a relationship with their grandparents solely because the grandparent is mean to me. Only if their own unique relationship is toxic.[/quote]

Agree with this.  My grandmother was pretty awful to my mom (her daughter) and she was also abusive to me and my brother (lashed out at us, sent us nasty letters to 'get back' at my mom, was manipulative).  My mom should have been more protective than she was.  But it's that situation that warrants keeping your kids from your mother.[/quote]

I disagree. 
In my situation, my mother is full of venom and spite for my father, they are divorced, and will do things like visibly recoil and turn up her lip at a gift my kids are playing with after asking my 4 year old "where did you get that?" and refusing to call my son by his double name because the second name is my fathers middle name. She will do things like ask me "oh, are you having a second piece" as a jab at my (post baby) weight, and sigh heavily when I tell I am working the next day and say "so sad."

Are these things directly horrible to my children at 4 and 6? Maybe not, but as they grow and learn what the eye rolls, sighs, underhanded comments mean, and potentially become victims themselves as they have a stronger relationship with their own grandfather, which I have been essentially punished with my whole life.

So not quite so black and white a short many posters who are not in these unique and complicated situations make it seem. FWIW I am a poster who maintains a relationship but has strong boundaries and significantly limited interactions, but finds no fault in people that can't make that work.[/quote]

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