Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Unless she's abusive to the kids (and she may very well be), theirs is a separate relationship from yours.  I wouldn't deny my kids a relationship with their grandparents solely because the grandparent is mean to me. [b]Only if their own unique relationship is toxic.[/b][/quote]

Agree with this.  My grandmother was pretty awful to my mom (her daughter) and she was also abusive to me and my brother (lashed out at us, sent us nasty letters to 'get back' at my mom, was manipulative).  My mom should have been more protective than she was.  But it's that situation that warrants keeping your kids from your mother.[/quote]

When a parents (or other relative) is an asshole to you, it is really hard to compartmentalize that relationship from the one the relative has with your kids, but taking care not to make it All about You is what grownups do, no matter how hard it is.

Divorced parents have to do this all the time.

And keeping an eye out for the bolded is key (and also exhausting).

Hugs to everyone who's managing this. [/quote]

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