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[quote=Anonymous]Since a PP asked so she can avoid the same mistakes with her own daughter, this is what makes it hard for me to even be in a room with her, let alone have a close relationship:

- She never asks me about my life or how I am doing, unless she wants to criticize me -- doesn't matter what it is (job, weight, haircut, whatever), she finds something to pick at and tell me how I am doing it wrong. Constant nagging.

- She talks endlessly and without interruption about herself. She has virtually no friends and so mostly she likes to talk about mean gossip she has heard about other ladies who work out at her gym. Or she'll start saying hateful things about various family relatives, my sibling's wife (she hates her daughter-in-law, for no good reason, it seems).

- She is incredibly vain and shallow. She has to look just *perfect* and she is critical of others who don't look "perfect" in her opinion. Example: Shortly after I gave birth to my first child, she called me up to tell me she saw a photo my husband sent to grandparents of us leaving the hospital with our baby - and she said she called because she just wanted to let me know that I looked really fat in the photo.

- She isn't very intelligent. I know this is unkind to say, especially about one's own parent, but I've come to realize over the years that she just isn't very smart. Or maybe she was at one point but over the years she has let her brain turn to mush. You cannot have any sort of sensible discussion with her about any even slightly serious topic because she is unable or unwilling to engage.

- She always wants to be the center of attention and starts to pout or pick fights if she feels not enough attention is being paid to her. So many holidays and family gatherings were ruined by my mother throwing a tantrum because she wasn't getting enough attention.

- She has never been there for me when I've needed advice. So I've just stopped asking.

- She openly favors my sibling over me. My sibling doesn't really get along with my mother either, but doesn't matter - the other sibling is the "good" one in her eyes and always has been.

Basically, I don't have a mother who acts like a "mother." Instead, I have a mother who acts like a snotty, self-centered, pre-teen girl. Maybe each of the things I listed above or even all of them together seem petty or small - and not enough of a reason to dislike one's own mother - but keep in mind that all of the above has been this way for YEARS and YEARS. [/quote]

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