Reply to Spouse never on my side

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Wrt the laundry, I need to do my own. Husband would put wool in the dryer and so on. It would take forever to train him. 
That said, the point is more about his constant need to contradict me. I'm thinking of shutting him out completely. If he can't support me then why even bother to speak to him other than to tell him the mail came. Kids are done a disservice to see their father acting like that. 
We are not looking at divorce even though there is no love. It might be hard for people to understand but at our age, I have seen my share of fire to frying pan maneuvers. Plus the financial free fall. [/quote]

OP that is wise. I've also seen that happen to many and it doesn't end well. My one friend is now going through her 2nd divorce after divorcing the 1st husband 7 years ago. I'm assuming you've talk to him about contradicting you constantly.
I get up 2 hours early (morning person) and do a load every other day. Try that, maybe have your husband fold and put away after you leave?  Maybe a few nights a week you can meet a friend for dinner just to unwind and let husband and kids fend for themselves. If he refuses to change I'd probably minimize social events with him. Go with your friends etc.

Don't stop talking to him, but slowly minimize interactions where there will be disagreements. I think you need to use better psychology. The minute he starts to contradict you walk away. That way he can only contradict the wall. Again do things you like without him, a friend or family member or your kids.  Don't empower his behavior or feed into it.  Next time you want to use the computer YOU do so and ignore his stupid comments. [/quote]

Thanks. I like this advice. I've never actually walked away before, but I might simply do that next time. A behavioral change is likely to concern him. Thinking of joining a hiking group without the kids or him. Something I would love to do more.  [/quote]

That's a great idea, many things you can do. Yes I learned years ago most things aren't worth arguing about. You can pretend to be busy and walk into another room. That does work. He wants to nit pick, get a glass of wine and watch your favorite show away from him. Take a long bath even.  My friend and I go to Vegas once a year for a "girls" get away. [/quote]

[b]Best advice here.  Make your own space for happiness and sanity.  Ignore the grimy nit-pickers.[[/b]/quote]

Amen to that.  Grimy nit pickers are NEVER happy, OP.[/quote]

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