Reply to Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this is clearly distressing for you and your child. The best way to get immediate changes is to try not to be "that crazy parent" who goes off. BTDT and  I learned from experience, and with help from a great school counselor, how emotional reactions can make things worse for the child and frustrating for staff. Some principals are just not as focused on manageable behavioral issues as others. It happens.

So before you go the escalation route, I'd strongly recommend - for your own peace of mind and your child's - that you consider the following steps to ask for help at school:

1. School Nurse: detail the physical and hygiene incidents and ask to meet briefly in person to explain. Nurses need and want to know about problems. They might have advice or perspective on what's happening.

2. School Counselor or Psychologist: again, ask to meet briefly in person to review the information and to seek their guidance. There could be a lot of things going on that you aren't aware of. They can't mention them in email for privacy reasons, but face-to-face in a non-confrontational setting can be a good way to learn what's really happening.

3. School Security Guard: Actually, I'd do this first. They often know about the hotspots (like lax playground monitors). Explain that your child is anxious and acknowledge that you are, too. Greet them with a friendly wave so your child sees that you trust these adults. Same for crossing guards.

Happened to a classmate who was intimidated by a bully to beat on my kid. Chipped my kid's tooth. No major damage, a little blood, minor pain. (He's tough as nails. Didn't realize he'd swallowed the chip.) I went ballistic when the nurse told me. I was so ready to lawyer-up. But she hinted that there was a ringleader and said the counselor would like to talk about it. The security guard subtly said they were trying to catch the real culprit in action. She even showed me the new security camera angle she'd asked to be aimed at a door by the playground.  School Counselor called me and helped me phrase an email to the principal that was more emphatic than I would have done on my own. She nearly came out and said she wanted ammunition to transfer Real Bully.

The principal was essentially useless because Real Bully's parents were "really involved" at school. (Again, info from Security Guard.)  Principal actually said to me "That doesn't sound like something Real Bully would do...I've known him a long time."  :evil:  Yeah, and you've been friends with his parents for an even longer time.

Real Bully wasn't transferred but was put in a different class from my kid and the "enforcer." I later heard from enforcer's parents. They were really pologetic and also thanked me for helping to get Real Bully out of the class. The things they told me Real Bully said to their kid were HORRIBLE! Hateful, humiliating things including race and family origin. Much more damaging than a tooth chip. (My kid forgot about the whole thing a month later. He's pretty resilient.) The parents were having trouble getting anyone to believe them that it was THEIR child who was the bully's target. Their kid responded positively almost immediately with the class switch. Security Guard told me later things got much better for everyone.

I mention this because I've heard similar things at other schools. Sometimes it's the informal channels that are more effective in implementing immediate change than escalation.

After all this, I made sure to email principal and instructional superintendent praising staff for helping my kid after tooth chip. I didn't say anything in detail about class switch or other kid.  The staff really put themselves out on a limb to help my kid and others in unofficial ways. The principal sucked in this case, but the others in the building stepped up.

So sorry this is happening OP. Your child is probably not the problem. Look for allies at school. Your child shouldn't have to go through the disruption of emergency transfer if there are folks at school who can solve the problem.

Good luck[/quote]

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