Anonymous wrote:Male principal + Capital Hill = Logan, Ludlow-Taylor, Tyler and Brent.

I'm gonna gues Tyler. That place is like the wild fucking west. Glad we got out of there.

OP, this is clearly distressing for you and your child. The best way to get immediate changes is to try not to be "that crazy parent" who goes off. BTDT and I learned from experience, and with help from a great school counselor, how emotional reactions can make things worse for the child and frustrating for staff. Some principals are just not as focused on manageable behavioral issues as others. It happens.

So before you go the escalation route, I'd strongly recommend - for your own peace of mind and your child's - that you consider the following steps to ask for help at school:

1. School Nurse: detail the physical and hygiene incidents and ask to meet briefly in person to explain. Nurses need and want to know about problems. They might have advice or perspective on what's happening.

2. School Counselor or Psychologist: again, ask to meet briefly in person to review the information and to seek their guidance. There could be a lot of things going on that you aren't aware of. They can't mention them in email for privacy reasons, but face-to-face in a non-confrontational setting can be a good way to learn what's really happening.

3. School Security Guard: Actually, I'd do this first. They often know about the hotspots (like lax playground monitors). Explain that your child is anxious and acknowledge that you are, too. Greet them with a friendly wave so your child sees that you trust these adults. Same for crossing guards.

Happened to a classmate who was intimidated by a bully to beat on my kid. Chipped my kid's tooth. No major damage, a little blood, minor pain. (He's tough as nails. Didn't realize he'd swallowed the chip.) I went ballistic when the nurse told me. I was so ready to lawyer-up. But she hinted that there was a ringleader and said the counselor would like to talk about it. The security guard subtly said they were trying to catch the real culprit in action. She even showed me the new security camera angle she'd asked to be aimed at a door by the playground. School Counselor called me and helped me phrase an email to the principal that was more emphatic than I would have done on my own. She nearly came out and said she wanted ammunition to transfer Real Bully.

The principal was essentially useless because Real Bully's parents were "really involved" at school. (Again, info from Security Guard.) Principal actually said to me "That doesn't sound like something Real Bully would do...I've known him a long time." Yeah, and you've been friends with his parents for an even longer time.

Real Bully wasn't transferred but was put in a different class from my kid and the "enforcer." I later heard from enforcer's parents. They were really pologetic and also thanked me for helping to get Real Bully out of the class. The things they told me Real Bully said to their kid were HORRIBLE! Hateful, humiliating things including race and family origin. Much more damaging than a tooth chip. (My kid forgot about the whole thing a month later. He's pretty resilient.) The parents were having trouble getting anyone to believe them that it was THEIR child who was the bully's target. Their kid responded positively almost immediately with the class switch. Security Guard told me later things got much better for everyone.

I mention this because I've heard similar things at other schools. Sometimes it's the informal channels that are more effective in implementing immediate change than escalation.

After all this, I made sure to email principal and instructional superintendent praising staff for helping my kid after tooth chip. I didn't say anything in detail about class switch or other kid. The staff really put themselves out on a limb to help my kid and others in unofficial ways. The principal sucked in this case, but the others in the building stepped up.

So sorry this is happening OP. Your child is probably not the problem. Look for allies at school. Your child shouldn't have to go through the disruption of emergency transfer if there are folks at school who can solve the problem.

Good luck

I understand the concept of questioning whether the kids might be exaggerating or something. However, I would believe 100% that all of this happened at Brent. DC, now gone from Brent, was repeatedly verbally sexually harrassed and the principal, who knew about it independently while I had no idea how bad it was, let it go on. Other kids were "jumped" on the playground. Some kids' ridiculous behavior went on for years, same behavior, same kids, without any improvement. Brent principal seems to be biased toward certain kids who can have really poor behaviors but he practically dotes on them. Other kids might be struggling with similar behaviors and they are held to higher standards.

DC is gone from Brent, partially because of that situation. From friends I know that such matters go on. Punching, throwing to ground, kids feeling nervous about what might happen with other kids. Some kids more seriously punished, others given a free pass. The Beh Tech is good, but there are too many problems and too many kids who need more full time support.

I say all this not to be critical of kids who need support learning how to control their emotions and behavior. Kids are kids and not all of them have the same abilities. I say it to say that if a kid isn't able to have that control, there should be help put in place for the other kids. Can't keep yourself from saying "suck my d---" to the girls at the cafeteria table? You sit at a different table away from the girls. Your child repeatedly swears the teacher in front of the whole class? Parent needs to come in to help put together a plan of action. Other kids don't want to hear their beloved teacher a mother f'in b on a regular basis.

Brent has a lot of wonderful things about it and other schools undoubtedly have similar issues, but there are too many instances of this and other kids suffer. I regret telling DC to ignore, move away, focus on friends, because I had no idea how bad it was actually. I should have probed more or asked the principal who apparently knew exactly what was going on!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Call the police
2. Document everything, email principal & chancellor every time.
3. Meet 1-1 w/ teachers, support staff, custodians etc. to ask what is going on & for recommendations about what to do.

4. Contact your councilmember, & Grosso, & Vincent Gray , & mayor, & deputy mayor for education.

5. Demand a specific solution. An aid to monitor the situation? Intervention w/ the kids?

Oh and I forgot:

6. Talk to other parents. Perhaps hang out at drop off and ask whether their kids feel safe. Find allies.

7. Perhaps try to calmly talk to the parents of the bullies?

I'd like to know what school because I'm worried my child could be involved in the bullying. I hope the parents of all the kids involved are informed so they can deal with their own children.

Hi OP, I am so sorry this happened. I used to be a social worker in a different city. I believe you, and I believe your kid.
You've gotten some really helpful advice above about keeping him home, and following the channels above to involve DCPS. It's atrocious that the school hasn't done more. Calling police is not unreasonable, either.

Anonymous wrote:OP, might be stating the obvious here, but you want to keep a detailed log of your dealings with the principal on this issue to support your complaints. Note time, dates, means of communication, what was discussed, action taken or not taken. Attach to complaints as exhibit A. You have to document every little thing, or you risk being laughed out of court up the chain as a neurotic, overprotective mother.

Yes. I would document in notes - but also email the principal a summary of what was discussed, or what happened. So that you can show your attempt to communicate.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you send him to that school even one more day? I would send him to an affordable Catholic school, other low cost private school, or homeschool him. I would call every charter school to see if there was room or rent a small apartment in another area temporarily to send my kid to any other school.

Catholic schools aren't immune to bullies either. Trust me. Been there done that.

Anonymous wrote:What school is this?

Jeez. Everyone drop salivating over the name of the school and let OP sort it out.

Anonymous wrote:My son is a Kindergartener and has been the victim of sexual and ongoing physical assaults and bullying at his school.. The majority of these incidents occur on the playground and involve about 6-7 of 1st grade boys who single out my son, kick, hit, jump on him and call him names. Other incidents have included being watched by another student while using the bathroom and the student making inappropriatel comments about his private parts. The same student also peed on my younger son while he was washing his hands(after school). My son was also choked in the library and threatened to be killed if he told on the kid for throwing pencils at him. None of these incidents were reported to me by school staff- I had to hear them first from my son!! Whenever I speak to the principal it's always, well we talked to the kids and that's not how they said things happened and since no one saw what happened we can't do anything. Today I was ready to pull him from school and homeschool for the remainder of the year. We are new to DCPS. What are my options here? How do I get something done about this? Is this just a lost cause? Help!

-so this is your first problem. Your son is either 4 or 5 (you mentioned he was 4 in one of your posts). Kids that age often don't report stories accurately. The principal and the teachers know this and you should too. Please don't fall into the thinking "my DS would never lie!". When your DS reported the stories to you, did you follow up with the teacher to find out what his/her version was?

-Have you actually had a meeting in person with the teacher and/or principal? Not an email or phone call but an actual sit down meeting where you discussed the issue and what action would be taken?

-Since some of the incidents were on the playground, did you consider going by during recess time and observing from a distance to see what is going on for yourself? This is good to do so not only can you see what your own kid is doing but you can observe what the teachers or aids are doing, if anything, who are monitoring the playground.

-Is this situation occurring during the school day or is it occurring in aftercare?

Anonymous wrote:Given the language that some people are using with their recommendations, they are not familiar with the DC school structure.

1- keep your son home today and send a note to the teacher and principal why your child is absent. If you are too worked up, have your DH write the note.

2 - 1st thing - call the ombudsman. Frame out what has happened, steps you have taken, what you want.

there are some key words you need to use that are trigger words for the school. Go read the bully prevention guide:
https://dcps.dc.gov/bullying

And repeat back phrases to the ombudsman. For example, these incidents have ..... caused my child stress, he had his 1st accident in 2 years because he did not want to use the hall bathroom for fear of seeing the boys who have harassed him.

Most recently, he has expressed fear of additional physical harm given the incident on 3/21 ....

I would like your support as I have had multiple meets with teachers and leadership at my school (list dates this has been discussed), and informed the school of incidents via email on (list dates). To date, the action plan to address this has been ineffective.

I need your help protecting my child from this. He should have a positive school culture in order to support his learning and have an adequate educational opportunity.

This is the policy doc:
https://dcps.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/dcps/publication/attachments/DCPS%20Bullying%20Prevention%20Policy.pdf


Also think about what you want - do you want to be placed in another neighborhood school? This is an option.

sounds like excellent advice. plus documenting the fact that you are keeping your child home for a legitimate reason if they later try to send the truancy people after you. can the ombudsman reassign to a new school?

OP if you have a recalictrant principal, the only thing you can do is leave the school. We had experience with a principal who refused to help and it was pointless to try as long as we did. I'd investigate ways to get him moved schools. Document everything too.

Given the language that some people are using with their recommendations, they are not familiar with the DC school structure.

1- keep your son home today and send a note to the teacher and principal why your child is absent. If you are too worked up, have your DH write the note.

2 - 1st thing - call the ombudsman. Frame out what has happened, steps you have taken, what you want.

there are some key words you need to use that are trigger words for the school. Go read the bully prevention guide:
https://dcps.dc.gov/bullying

And repeat back phrases to the ombudsman. For example, these incidents have ..... caused my child stress, he had his 1st accident in 2 years because he did not want to use the hall bathroom for fear of seeing the boys who have harassed him.

Most recently, he has expressed fear of additional physical harm given the incident on 3/21 ....

I would like your support as I have had multiple meets with teachers and leadership at my school (list dates this has been discussed), and informed the school of incidents via email on (list dates). To date, the action plan to address this has been ineffective.

I need your help protecting my child from this. He should have a positive school culture in order to support his learning and have an adequate educational opportunity.

This is the policy doc:
https://dcps.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/dcps/publication/attachments/DCPS%20Bullying%20Prevention%20Policy.pdf


Also think about what you want - do you want to be placed in another neighborhood school? This is an option.

What school is this?

Anonymous wrote:Male principal + Capital Hill = Logan, Ludlow-Taylor, Tyler and Brent.

SWS would also fit the criteria

Male principal + Capital Hill = Logan, Ludlow-Taylor, Tyler and Brent.