Reply to Could 13 yo DD just be discovering she is trans?

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Reply to "Could 13 yo DD just be discovering she is trans?"

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[quote=Anonymous]
There are so many ways to be a gay woman! I don't understand the loss of the proud butch woman that existed. One of the characters on Orange is the New Black (Boo?). It's how she identifies and I'm confused by how instead of appreciating the broad range of what it means to still be a woman---and I mean the FULL spectrum, from 1950s femme to boo-style butch---we've created trans as the only option for lesbians who would otherwise identify as hardcore, butch lesbians.

Labels. Labels!!! If we honor the spectrum of sexuality, why do we rush to put young people in boxes and literally treat them with drugs and procedures, right when they're trying to figure out where they fall? I know soon many gay men who do drag. There used to be a thriving Drag *King* community in DC for lesbians who performed, not as men, but as Kings. It was an expression that now seems to have fallen by the wayside.

We can all look back on horrible hairstyles or that black lipstick goth stage we went through in our teens. What happens to these young people who are intentionally and chemically put in a place where there's no coming back?

My young children have read the Princess Boy and I am Jazz. They are aware that there are MANY types of boys and girls in the world. We teach love is love with regard to gay marriage. They see same sex couples dropping their kids off everyday at school.

I dunno. Now I'm rambling. Basically, I'm nervous about the discussions we'll be having in ten years, when our children blame us for robbing them of the experience of their journey through well-intentioned but permanent surgeries and such.

No one should be denied the medical treatment they need. I just think we need to be very careful about the permanency of locking a child into a body. I am Jazz makes it clear that this child was born with (as they put it) a girl's brain in a boy's body. A 13 year old coming home from a meeting and deciding she's trans is an entirely different story, and should be handled with care and with great respect for the journey of finding what makes sense for them down the road.

I would certainly support my child in living as they wish (male/female, as man or woman), without the surgery or drugs. Allowing for permanent changes would essentially be me allowing them to make decisions they're not necessarily capable of making because of their limited life experience. Go be a drag queen, son. Find your way through the gay community. See where you fit. Experiment with all that this diverse community has to offer. Once you've educated yourself through life experience and know where you are most comfortable, I will support permanency as the need for it becomes apparent.

There are lots of ways to express difference. My femininity is not for other women; someone else's heterosexuality may not manifest the same as mine does. But, I've had years to work it out. Why aren't these children being given the same opportunity?
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