Reply to Do you pay for IVF or do you and your partner split the cost? Wondering if I need a reality check

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- all of you have very good points and this is painful, but helpful to hear. I was preparing to have a child on my own when we met, so I guess we just feel into the assumption that I would cover all IVF costs. When I explicitly raised it, he said he didn't have enough  money with his child support costs to pay for IVF but then if he can't cover IVF, I guess that really does beg the question of how he can financially contribute to raising child. Sorry, I know this isn't online therapy. I asked the question as I was initially interested to know if in any other couples, the cost of IVF fell on one partner, or if I'm in a really weird situation. [/quote]

Hi OP - When I saw the subject of your post, I knew that there would be tons of comments saying that you definitely have issues if you are paying the IVF cost, you must share all expenses to truly be a team...and so on.  My DH and I have separate checking accounts and do not split all costs. It works out for us and we are happy. I don't want my DH to pay for my brazilian waxes and I don't want to pay for his power tools. We have a complete happy marriage with this arrangement that we are both satisfied with and feel it's equitable for both. I (female) have paid for my IVF treatments, so you are not alone! We have separate insurances, so I just started paying for it, and have not asked him to chip in since we typically keep health costs separate. Although, I will say I am lucky to have good insurance coverage so have not needed to touch my retirements accounts. It does sounds like a difficult situation if he is strained financially due to child support. I know its tough, but only you can decide what is right for you and your relationship, not strangers from DCUM!  Good luck! [/quote]

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