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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50.  This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF.  We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means.  Are we too old?  As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy.  We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.[/quote]

It's not about the pregnancy or infant being healthy, it's about *you and your husband* being healthy, of course. You're being obtuse.[/quote]

Its actually about both.  If child turns out to have SN and needs life long care and parent/s die at 70 when child is 20 how is that for the child.  Its an issue.

We were told we were getting a healthy child.  We have medical records and much much more.  Reality is birthfather is a huge drug addict (they lied about it) and who knows if/what the birthmom used.  Child has SN.  We are very grateful for him but we spend every day in expensive therapies.  I cannot work because of it.   Adoption is't always as you are told.  It was not for us.  We had what seemed like the perfect adoption.   Its far from that when the truth came out.  I'd do it again for this child, but just know things are not always as they appear (sometimes they are).[/quote]

Do adoptive parents ever consider just "adopting" a donor EMBRYO?  we went through IVF to have out daughter and we looked briefly at adoption but a healthy white infant would likely require a private attorney and not an adotpion service. we are both late 30s and told that we were going to be a difficult placement through a service.  We were looking at 5--75k to find a baby and probably have to relocate to another state briefly to finalize the adoption. If IVF didn't work, I would have looked into the donor embryo from someone who has a lot of frozen ones from their now IVF.  I figure its the same as adoption but without the drama of a birth mom backing out or having all kinds of issues from an addict mom.[/quote]

Donor embryos are not that easy to find either though.  And you still have to be able to carry to term, which isn't feasible for everyone. [/quote]

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