Anonymous
Post 02/22/2017 09:19     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
I'm the PP soon-to-be adoptive mother from upthread. I went through 9 rounds of IVF 4 OE and 5 donor. I found out late that I have immune issues. I was treated for my last cycle that didn't take. Adopting an embryo was never considered for us and probably wouldn't work anyway.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2017 09:16     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Adoptive parents here. Never considered adopting an embryo. There are so many kids out there already that need good homes, I dont see the need to artificially create one.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2017 09:00     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:Do adoptive parents ever consider just "adopting" a donor EMBRYO? we went through IVF to have out daughter and we looked briefly at adoption but a healthy white infant would likely require a private attorney and not an adotpion service. we are both late 30s and told that we were going to be a difficult placement through a service. We were looking at 5--75k to find a baby and probably have to relocate to another state briefly to finalize the adoption. If IVF didn't work, I would have looked into the donor embryo from someone who has a lot of frozen ones from their now IVF. I figure its the same as adoption but without the drama of a birth mom backing out or having all kinds of issues from an addict mom.


Adoptive parent here. No, we never considered adopting a donor embryo. We didn't want to do IVF for a variety of reasons and we were very comfortable with adoption. I'm an adult adoptee and being pregnant/having a genetic relationship was never important to me, though I know other adoptees who felt like it was very important to have a bio connection with their children. We spent the same amount on our international adoption as it would've cost us to do the shared risk program.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 22:13     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50. This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF. We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means. Are we too old? As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy. We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.


It's not about the pregnancy or infant being healthy, it's about *you and your husband* being healthy, of course. You're being obtuse.


Its actually about both. If child turns out to have SN and needs life long care and parent/s die at 70 when child is 20 how is that for the child. Its an issue.

We were told we were getting a healthy child. We have medical records and much much more. Reality is birthfather is a huge drug addict (they lied about it) and who knows if/what the birthmom used. Child has SN. We are very grateful for him but we spend every day in expensive therapies. I cannot work because of it. Adoption is't always as you are told. It was not for us. We had what seemed like the perfect adoption. Its far from that when the truth came out. I'd do it again for this child, but just know things are not always as they appear (sometimes they are).


Do adoptive parents ever consider just "adopting" a donor EMBRYO? we went through IVF to have out daughter and we looked briefly at adoption but a healthy white infant would likely require a private attorney and not an adotpion service. we are both late 30s and told that we were going to be a difficult placement through a service. We were looking at 5--75k to find a baby and probably have to relocate to another state briefly to finalize the adoption. If IVF didn't work, I would have looked into the donor embryo from someone who has a lot of frozen ones from their now IVF. I figure its the same as adoption but without the drama of a birth mom backing out or having all kinds of issues from an addict mom.


We choose adoption. I would not consider IVF. We had a very difficult and long adoption process. However, we did adopt a white child, so it is possible, but it is harder. We did not specify race. It just happened. Birthmom and her family are amazing. Birthfather and his family are total nuts and a nightmare.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 21:26     Subject: Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
I'm 51 and the idea of taking on a newborn at this age....ha, not for me. No way and especially not with the history of cancer that she has.

But, she does seem to be doing well and has lots of energy so I hope that she fully enjoys her little one.



Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 21:17     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50. This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF. We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means. Are we too old? As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy. We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.


It's not about the pregnancy or infant being healthy, it's about *you and your husband* being healthy, of course. You're being obtuse.


Its actually about both. If child turns out to have SN and needs life long care and parent/s die at 70 when child is 20 how is that for the child. Its an issue.

We were told we were getting a healthy child. We have medical records and much much more. Reality is birthfather is a huge drug addict (they lied about it) and who knows if/what the birthmom used. Child has SN. We are very grateful for him but we spend every day in expensive therapies. I cannot work because of it. Adoption is't always as you are told. It was not for us. We had what seemed like the perfect adoption. Its far from that when the truth came out. I'd do it again for this child, but just know things are not always as they appear (sometimes they are).


Do adoptive parents ever consider just "adopting" a donor EMBRYO? we went through IVF to have out daughter and we looked briefly at adoption but a healthy white infant would likely require a private attorney and not an adotpion service. we are both late 30s and told that we were going to be a difficult placement through a service. We were looking at 5--75k to find a baby and probably have to relocate to another state briefly to finalize the adoption. If IVF didn't work, I would have looked into the donor embryo from someone who has a lot of frozen ones from their now IVF. I figure its the same as adoption but without the drama of a birth mom backing out or having all kinds of issues from an addict mom.


Donor embryos are not that easy to find either though. And you still have to be able to carry to term, which isn't feasible for everyone.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 21:13     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50. This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF. We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means. Are we too old? As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy. We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.


It's not about the pregnancy or infant being healthy, it's about *you and your husband* being healthy, of course. You're being obtuse.


Its actually about both. If child turns out to have SN and needs life long care and parent/s die at 70 when child is 20 how is that for the child. Its an issue.

We were told we were getting a healthy child. We have medical records and much much more. Reality is birthfather is a huge drug addict (they lied about it) and who knows if/what the birthmom used. Child has SN. We are very grateful for him but we spend every day in expensive therapies. I cannot work because of it. Adoption is't always as you are told. It was not for us. We had what seemed like the perfect adoption. Its far from that when the truth came out. I'd do it again for this child, but just know things are not always as they appear (sometimes they are).


Do adoptive parents ever consider just "adopting" a donor EMBRYO? we went through IVF to have out daughter and we looked briefly at adoption but a healthy white infant would likely require a private attorney and not an adotpion service. we are both late 30s and told that we were going to be a difficult placement through a service. We were looking at 5--75k to find a baby and probably have to relocate to another state briefly to finalize the adoption. If IVF didn't work, I would have looked into the donor embryo from someone who has a lot of frozen ones from their now IVF. I figure its the same as adoption but without the drama of a birth mom backing out or having all kinds of issues from an addict mom.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:35     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Did anyone else think this thread was going to be about Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:23     Subject: Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Thoughts?". You are stupid, a horrible person or both.


+1,000,000

And living in the 1950s.


+1,000,000,000

I know Hoda personally (she is a longtime family friend) and while I won't get into the specifics of her situation, I will say that she is going to be an amazing mother. She has so much love to give and just from how she treated my sisters and I when we were growing up, I know that this child will thrive with her. OP, you must be an absolute miserable person to have anything negative to say about someone who is giving a baby who needs a home a stellar home, full of warmth, love, and care. This child will never want for anything and will literally be given the world. I just can't wait to meet her and spoil her myself!


I am embarrassed to say, but I was watching her recently and I thought: It's a shame she never married/had kids, she seems like it would suit her. I quickly corrected myself that, that isn't what women should be judged by or about. But today, when I saw that picture, it made me happy so for her.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:19     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have just been chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby boy due in 5 weeks. We are 48 and 50. This is after a long process of miscarriage and IVF. We are healthy, take care of ourselves and have the means. Are we too old? As far as we can tell the pregnancy is healthy and so is our soon to be little boy. We've gotten medical records and have email exchanges and Skype meetings with our birthmother.


This is great news! Very happy for you. Nap now!
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:17     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
I would not because as a breast cancer survivor myself I know how likely it is it will come back...and worst.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:09     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
I'm so happy for her. I think she will make a great mom and the baby is very lucky.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 20:08     Subject: Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She looks like she is in great health, probably has financial stability/to great wealth. George Clooney is 55. Are you questioning his ability to parent twins??


She fought breast cancer about 5 years ago.0


Which means the cancer will likely come back...in her bones and will be deadly.

Nobody talks about how common it is for breast cancer patients to have it come back a handful of years later.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 19:52     Subject: Re:Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
I agree with you, OP. I think 45 and above is too old to have kids...and I would say this equally to men and women. Someone mentioned Donald Trump and he is a terrible example as he has little to do with Barron. I wouldn't say anything to the person but, I would not want to be a parent of a newborn at 52 or have a parent that is 62 when I am 10.

Just my two cents
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2017 19:36     Subject: Adopting newborn at 52 years old?
Anonymous wrote:She looks like she is in great health, probably has financial stability/to great wealth. George Clooney is 55. Are you questioning his ability to parent twins??


She fought breast cancer about 5 years ago.0