Reply to What do I need to do over the next 6 years to get my child into a top school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  This has been a (mostly) helpful thread.

I really feel for the OP - I am American, I went through this process myself almost 30 years ago (when by the way, "well rounded" was already OUT, at least for Suburban NJ applicants to top schools . . .)  It seems like in the intervening years, the college application process has just gotten worse and more complicated.  Back then, with tuition high (but not the sky-high level of today), selective colleges did not provide merit aid (with very few exceptions).  Now, it seems like there's a complicated game to be played.  The Ivy League and tippy-top schools provide no merit aid, but the middle tier and below of selective colleges and some flaghip state universitities, now do.  So, you have to factor that in.  Acceptance rates are lower than ever.  Seems like a crap shoot!

My older DD is also in 7th grade.  She is the one bringing up this topic with me (I've not brought it up).  Just got her report card yesterday, and she has a 4.0 in MCPS (public).  She asks me: "what do I have to do to get into a really great college?  If I keep a 4.0 all through high school, will I get into a really good college?"  I hate that my answer has to be: "If you study/work hard, I'm sure you will go to a college that will be really great for you."  I think it's hard at 12 years old to have to recognize there is a luck/financial element.  The rules are not clear like in Europe (do well on exam - get into good college - end of story).  On the one hand, I think it's great that my DD has these dreams, but on the other hand, I don't want her to define "success" as getting into fill-in-the-blank-NAME school given the luck and financial elements at play.

Also, while I get why top schools like "pointy" kids, I take issue with this a bit.  My kid is freaking 12 years old.  If she wants to try a sport or activity that she's not sure about or might not excel in, she should do it!  Not be held back to at 12 only participate in those things that will help build a college resume down the line.  Some people have many diverse interests.  This is not a bad thing![/quote]

FWIW, the message we gave DC was *college* is great -- so many different ones, appealing in so many different ways and the basic set up itself (all kids your own age, coming from different backgrounds, eager to make new friends, all living in close proximity to each other and to classes, arts, sports, and other kinds of fun, more independence without most of the boring overhead of adult life) is pretty awesome.  Of course the whole EA/ED thing messes with that line Sr year where you get one chip and want to play it wisely.  BUT, if you help your kid find a safety school or schools s/he is excited about, the stress goes way down.

And, honestly, I don't think that highly selective schools are looking for kids who are obsessively focused on one thing and have been for years.  I think they're unimpressed by kids who do a bazillion things simultaneously and don't have anything interesting to say about any of them.  They're looking for kids who stand out and when everybody seems to be following the same formula, there are lots of different ways to avoid being virtually indistinguishable from hundreds of other applicants.[/quote]

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