Reply to What do I need to do over the next 6 years to get my child into a top school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister went to an ivy and does alumni interviews for them. One thing she always tells me is that as "stacked" as the students' applications are, none of them get accepted - echoing a PP response about colleges not wanting a "jack of all trades, master of none" type of candidate. The universities are filling out a freshman class that is diverse - they need one really great trumpet player, one really amazing physicist, one really passionate activist, etc. They don't need - nor want - one student who has dabbled in a million things but is not passionate about anything. So to agree with many of the PPs, find out what YOUR CHILD is interested in, not what you think they should be interested in. Even I had a hard time accepting that with my children, since I grew up employing the "jack of all trades" strategy. Once I stepped back and reassessed, I find it really does work better in the long run since they are so much happier and empowered by having agency in their lives.[/quote]

And, if they spend their time doing stuff they enjoy and find meaningful, it's not going to matter to them if they do/don't get into an Ivy.  What they've done has been intrinsically worthwhile and it helps them figure out what they want to do/learn next.

If they're just doing things in hope of some future payoff and they don't get it, they feel robbed.  If they do get it and it's not all that, they feel let down.  If they do get it, and they think, game over, they've won, you're all in for a big surprise.  Or if they get it and then realize that the prize they're won is 4 more years of even more demanding competition to get the next prize, then they risk burnout and despair.

By contrast, if they've found something they love, they enjoy the ride and realize that there are all sort of interesting ways to travel.  That realization also makes the college search process easier and much less fraught.  You focus on programs/opportunities rather than rankings.  And there are great programs in schools whose admissions aren't highly selective.  [/quote]

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