Reply to meant-to-be-kind words that hurt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I'm a teacher, and I'm surprised no one here has mentioned that OP popped in on the teacher unexpectedly[/b] and how that might have impacted the exchange. This wasn't a scheduled conference where the art teacher, who presumably sees hundreds of kids a week, had a chance to collect her thoughts about how your kid responded to the latest unit on watercolors. When asked on the spot, she pulled out an observation that stood out to her most--that your kid is being treated well by others. I'd say that's pretty good.

I've taught students with IEPs and without. If you popped in unexpectedly and asked how your kid was doing, I'm likely to pull out what comes to mind first. It might be that there was a problem in lunch an hour ago or that she made a great comment in social studies yesterday.

If you want to know how she is doing with the art content, schedule a conference. Otherwise, take the comment in the context it was given: a spontaneous response from a teacher who sees many kids once a week. [/quote]

This. -another teacher [/quote]

Teachers, I think we do acknowledge and most of us including the OP realize this teacher was trying to be kind.  Most every teacher I've ever met can field the random "how's my kid doing" question from parents.  I would be shocked if your response would be "Schedule a conference."

There's no need to get shirty with the OP or try to put her on the defensive.  It doesn't matter if she's president of the PTA or a parent that only goes to the required annual parent teacher conference.

The teacher didn't do anything wrong in how she answered.   But sometimes as parents, it's nice when others see our kids as the individuals they are first and not the disability.  [/quote]

It wasn't a kind statement.  A kind statement is Larlo tries very hard but is struggling with xxx (drawing, coloring). He has made a lot of progress in the following areas:  XXX.  He seems to do well socializing and the other kids appear to treat him well.[/quote]

Like a PP up thread said--the parent admittedly popped in unannounced and asked the question. I'm sure the teacher would have responded in a similar way to what you wrote if she had been given a heads up. You can't expect someone who teaches hundreds of kids per week to come up with the kind of response you're looking for while being surprised by a parent peeking in the door and asking that type of question while the teacher presumably was either teaching another class or prepping for the next class. That's completely unfair to put this on the teacher. Give the teacher the benefit of time to think of a thoughtful response like you had the benefit of doing. Completely apples and oranges. [/quote]

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