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[quote=Anonymous]
OP,

The replies have shown you that there is no clear consensus and that you have to bridge the gap as best you can, to respect your blood relatives as well as your nuclear family, meaning your wife and children.

I'm the bridge between my parents and my husband, who have very different lifestyles and personalities and who don't like each very much. All of them have shown disrespect for each other at different points during their relationship. We have had a couple of yelling matches all together.

Please keep in mind that these relationships are going to last decades. What you say or don't say, do or don't do, is not just for solving the issue at hand, but also with an eye to the future. Stay as neutral as you can. Don't ignore your parents and your childhood rituals, but protect your wife from getting gobbled up by your family's overbearing lifestyle. There are a ton of compromises and options out there!

And you can always talk about this in therapy, with your wife. The atmosphere there is more conducive to reflection and self-analysis than in your own home, usually. 
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