Reply to DH relatives forgetting that I kept my name

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[quote=Anonymous]Guys. It's all of the above. Some families out there probably are passive-aggressive about names. Some don't care. Sometimes, it's a little bit of both mixed in. My own dear ILs are quite comfortable that I kept my name, but I do notice that they place particular emphasis on my children's last name (which is the same as my DH's) and frequently mention/praise/exclaim over it ("you're a Smith!" etc.). I personally don't care, and I have never had a hard time cashing checks. However, if I had ILs that were less great on the whole and more passive-aggressive, I might care.

I would also note that there are some people who probably assume the woman changed her name and don't have much occasion to be corrected. We probably receive 50-60 holiday cards every year, many of which are addressed to me and DH under his name and are from relatives we literally never see and correspond with generally once per year. Not much of an opportunity to correct them, so I assume they genuinely do not know I kept my name.

The beauty of feminism is that we now have a real choice to keep our names, and real careers established under our old names, and a separate economic and independent self. When my MIL got married, a married woman couldn't open a credit card in her own name, the account had to include her husband as well. Feminism is about not having that anymore. It's not about finding ways to be offended that might not be or aren't really there.[/quote]

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