Reply to Is anyone in a marriage where the DH is the default parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]#1 is to stop criticizing your DH and the house. Period. That aint depression talking. It's hurtful language to someone who loves you enough to take it. You're punishing him for being competent and masking that as an illness. If you had a husband who flew off the handle, I don't think you would be so comfortable criticizing him.

Your kids don't prefer you. They just know that their dads love is unconditional and he will be there for them but they don't have that same confidence in mom so they're anxious to receive love from you.

I think you're self-sabotaging. You probably have the life you envisioned for yourself and are freaking out about it. I think part of you wants your husband to leave you. Agree with PPs on individual therapy. My little brother went through this and he lived with me for part of that time. Our dad was mentally and emotionally abusive towards him. Incredibly cruel. After enabling for quite awhile, I abruptly kicked him out (snapped one day). I felt guilty initially, though I loved not having him around. I didn't care for the example he set for my child. A couple years later, he actually thanked me for doing so and he's living independently now. He went to therapy for awhile. I bring this up, because I want you to consider the very real possibility of your husband not being around. What if he dies in a car crash? Or finds another woman? He's a prime target for an affair and he might not even realize it yet. But everyone wants to feel appreciated. You need to compliment his efforts and his support of you during this time.[/quote]

PP here. This is also really good advice. You do need your butt kicked a bit.[/quote]

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