Reply to I think my husband has a drinking problem

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]12/13/2016 12:23 - I get what you are saying and maybe it seems like that b/c I didn't put everything out on the table all at once.  It's just train of thought and I posted b/c I needed to bounce this off people who don't know me. In this thread I've been called controlling by some and been told I could be harming my kids by others.  I'm just trying to grasp how bad this is, if I am overreacting (or not), if I should plan an exit strategy or if this is just a warning sign and there is a chance we can stop the train before it hits us.

The health issue wasn't caused by alcohol, but it was something that could get worse b/c of it.  When the doc asked how much he drank, it was enough that he was told that he needed to cut back.  At that time, I wasn't really worried.  I didn't see a reason to be concerned.  He wasn't mean to me and it didn't look like anything other than what I see a lot around other adults I know.

I mentioned the 2 years b/c I do think we have a communication problem.  We aren't as good at getting to the bottom of issues as we used to be and I am cognizant of that.  We've had some stressors in the past two year, including about 3 months ago, and they've taken their toll.  I never thought marriage would be without issues, but I don't think I'm a doormat, either.

If this was a 2 year ordeal, I'd really hope I'd get out.  Right now, it feels like watching a ball roll into traffic.  [/quote]

*YOU* can't stop the train. Only he can. If everyone in this thread who loves an alcoholic could have made them stop, none of us would love an alcoholic. Nothing external will work. You have to decide what your limits are and let him know. Maybe that's no drinking 2x a week, maybe it's therapy or AA. But you can only lay those out and let him do with them what he will. If he doesnt think the drinking is a problem, he won't stop. And an alcoholic (if he is one) will engage in wild mental gymnastics to convince themselves and others the drinking is not a problem. I don't know if things are bad or not based on your posts as Obviously it's hard to judge from such a distance and not knowing anyone. All I'm saying is I and others who are familiar with alcoholism see red flags that you should be aware of. You need to be up front with him his alcohol is an issue and come up with ways to fix that. Let him know not fixing it is not an option. See what he says. [/quote]

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