Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

[/quote]

Our first argument about the lack of sex was while we were engaged. My fiance said,"It'll get better once we're married and live together." That was 19 years ago. Guess what? We're at the silence stage, which is the end. I've already checked out.  I argued about it for 15 years. He's in denial, even after couples counselling during which I told him explicitly that 3 or 4 times a month of tepid sex wasn't acceptable. He just doesn't like sex that much. Joke's on me, I guess.[/quote]

3 or 4 times a month would make me the happiest man in the world. Now I am beginning to think that in order to keep my sanity I have to change this. [/quote]

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