Anonymous
11/26/2014 13:02
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Man here.
When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.
If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.
You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.
Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.
Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.
Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.
Our first argument about the lack of sex was while we were engaged. My fiance said,"It'll get better once we're married and live together." That was 19 years ago. Guess what? We're at the silence stage, which is the end. I've already checked out. I argued about it for 15 years. He's in denial, even after couples counselling during which I told him explicitly that 3 or 4 times a month of tepid sex wasn't acceptable. He just doesn't like sex that much. Joke's on me, I guess.
3 or 4 times a month would make me the happiest man in the world. Now I am beginning to think that in order to keep my sanity I have to change this.
Anonymous
11/26/2014 12:11
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:OP is selfish.
x2
Anonymous
11/26/2014 12:06
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
OP is selfish
Anonymous
11/26/2014 12:05
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
OP is selfish.
Anonymous
11/26/2014 11:31
Subject: Re:When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
^^^^^ Last few responses dude, for the last time, WE KNOW IT'S YOU. Youve been called out multiple times on this thread by myself and others. You have a very distinctive writing style and a very obvious end goal, which is making women feel like they have to fuck their husbands or the husband will get a divorce (which, if thats his attitude, will come as a threat to no one because he would have to be a piece of shit). No one is biting, no one believes your multiple troll accounts, when will you just give it up? You are a clearly trolling for the sake of it, but come on! Do you honestly think anyone believes you?
Anonymous
11/26/2014 09:32
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:OP, I hope you've told your wife what you need. And, I hope you've listened to what she needs.
One problem is that people sometimes aren't really in touch with what they need. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they are not being honest with themselves. Maybe they have a blind spot created by something they think they should want but don't really.
Anonymous
11/26/2014 07:56
Subject: Re:When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:^^^^^^ Anddddd you're still trying it despite the fact that no one believes you/cares:
Somevody has forgotten to take their meds.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 21:52
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
OP, I hope you've told your wife what you need. And, I hope you've listened to what she needs.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 20:08
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
If she pretends it's all just the voices in her head, it helps with the cognitive dissonance.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 20:03
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
"Man here" back.
To the jpg/gif poster. First is it really that hard to believe that a spouse, husband or wife, could have these feelings ? After 30 pages whether or not you agree with the opinions or the causes or the blame, it's obviously an issue for numerous couples. So let's address it.
Your need to condescend and post those images reeks of denial and a whole lot of crazy.
I thought I posted a balanced response and was immediately met with your bizarre rant. I'll say it again, this much anger really should lead you to some soul searching.
To the jpg/gif poster. First is it really that hard to believe that a spouse, husband or wife, could have these feelings ? After 30 pages whether or not you agree with the opinions or the causes or the blame, it's obviously an issue for numerous couples. So let's address it.
Your need to condescend and post those images reeks of denial and a whole lot of crazy.
I thought I posted a balanced response and was immediately met with your bizarre rant. I'll say it again, this much anger really should lead you to some soul searching.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 18:27
Subject: Re:When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
^^^^^^ Anddddd you're still trying it despite the fact that no one believes you/cares:
Anonymous
11/25/2014 17:32
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
People, why stay in relationships where you are clearly unhappy? Change something. Life is too short. If your spouse will not or cannot put out, at least get a hall pass or at worst divorce.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 17:23
Subject: Re:When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
sorry I do hate to be sarcastic when you clearly have suffered a lot. But this is the DCUM standard reply:
Have you tried doing more dishes and giving him foot massages to win back his affection?
Have you tried doing more dishes and giving him foot massages to win back his affection?
Anonymous
11/25/2014 16:24
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Man here.
When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.
If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.
You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.
Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.
Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.
Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.
Our first argument about the lack of sex was while we were engaged. My fiance said,"It'll get better once we're married and live together." That was 19 years ago. Guess what? We're at the silence stage, which is the end. I've already checked out. I argued about it for 15 years. He's in denial, even after couples counselling during which I told him explicitly that 3 or 4 times a month of tepid sex wasn't acceptable. He just doesn't like sex that much. Joke's on me, I guess.
Anonymous
11/25/2014 13:58
Subject: When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Man here.
When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.
If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.
You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.
Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.
Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.
Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.
Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.
I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.
Anddddddd same dude
Not only am I a woman, I'm new to this thread as far as posting goes.
I do gather however that you are a lunatic. You just repeat the same refrain, unable to comprehend that sex is a critical element for intimacy.