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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't like "safe" talk. I find it bizarre. It's like either it's somehow a special quality to be a decent partner who talks to you as an equal and treats you with respect, when it really should be a prerequisite, or it's about traditional gender expectations of the man providing monetarily and the woman making a nice home and stroking the man's ego. Either way, it's off-putting to me.[/quote]

By the time you are 45+ and in the dating world due to just being single, or divorced, or widowed, you realized there are a lot of guys out there who are not "safe" --- they are not safe for your financial future b/c they have a lot of debt or no savings of their own; or they aren't safe for your mental health b/c they are controlling or critical, or don't care about your feelings; etc; etc.

It's a tough world out there, and I don't begrudge any woman who values feeling "safe" -- "safe" so that one can RELAX in a relationship and not be worried about what warts might show up with the next guy you start to get excited about.  Prioritizing your desire to feel safe is o.k. with me.

On a separate note -- how "safe" could Joan have felt with her late husband who is spoken of as a saint -- but who apparently was involved in hundreds of thousands of dollars of fraud and stealing from government contracts with kickbacks, wire fraud, etc., etc?  I mean, she talks about him as this guy who took care of her and made her feel safe, and yet, he was looking at jail time if he hadn't had a terminal cancer.  And she made a big point (perhaps in an interview for a magazine if not on the show) that she and her husband worked REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard to save and set up their financial future, so she wanted a guy on Gold. Bach. that would be in a similar financial position.  (I don't begrudge her not wanting to be some guy's meal ticket.)  But, ... hmmm... now that we know the late husband took a lot of money that was supposed to go to minority businesses, it doesn't seem like they both worked "really, really, really" hard to get the money for all the surgeries, and nice house and such.  Say what you want about Gerry, but he earned his money legitimately, and lived within his means.[/quote]

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