Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is a huge difference to the kids though to have a more relaxed morning and to be able to come home and rest after school instead of staying in aftercare.

I stopped working when I had my kids, went back part-time when they started school and now that they are in high school I am increasing my hours close to full-time. I have always worked from home and have an intellectually stimulating job.

I realize that I am very lucky and not everyone has the same options as I do. I have no judgment, only sympathy, for those who would prefer to stay home with kids but have to work due to financial reasons.

I will never regret staying home with the kids when they were young. I truly believe that having one lovung and engaged parent stay home is the very best for the children. Those were also some of the best years of my life and I am forever grateful that I had the opportunity.[/quote]

Our aftercare was so much fun at our school that SAHMs also sent their kids 2-3 days a week because it was one big playdate and they felt left out.

[b]I think it’s good to have 2 engaged parents and we need to start making dads part of the equation.[/b][/quote]

I agree. I much prefer that our kids spend their after school with a mix of nanny, DH and me rather than 100% with me. And because DH doesn’t have to be sole breadwinner, he took a job that doesn’t require him to work weekends, so we can hang out together all weekend.

The three SAHMs I know well, their husbands are a mess. Totally checked out. Even if they don’t work many hours, they spend a ton of free time on their phone because they “earned” it by being the sole breadwinner.[/quote]

In my experience the guys are not such jerks that they think they "earned it" but it's just the kids never even think to ask dad to do anything and they don't really think of it.. like the kids need sunscreen. Then people get mad their H's don't do anything. It's just part of my H's ethos to know what the kids need and to do it, no need to instruct or ask. If you don't involve them how do they know. [/quote]

I have a highly competent and high earning husband. We hang out with other super engaging dads. The dads are smart, athletic and help around the house. There are men who are not engaged even if they don’t have demanding jobs. Look at all the men who have affairs. They are cheating on their wives, not on their phones. You can cheat at all income levels as well.[/quote]

I agree there are dads who help in the am, are home in the afternoon, moms also high earners and very involved. Staff does most everything else... but this is about 10% of the top 10%  ers.

But come on you know high earners are cheating as much as slugs. [/quote]

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