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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is, SAHP duties and work duties are not exactly equivalent.  For instance, the working spouse doesn't have two hours of downtime each day while the child naps.  SAH work can be tedious and hard (babies/little kids are tiring!), but is not as constantly demanding as working outside the home, commuting etc.  It is reasonable for your husband to expect you to handle simple dinners during the week.  At least most of the time--maybe he brings home dinner once a week and on request whenever you're having a particularly rough day.  But, in turn, he should be fully co-parenting when he gets home from work.  Just my opinion about a reasonable balance of responsibilities.  In the end, you do need to figure out the best way to be a team.  Sit down and talk about it.  If you find yourselves at opposite extremes, figure out a compromise.  If you're feeling resentful about the whole arrangement, revisit it![/quote]

I worked in an office.  Long hours often no lunch break. I came home cooked dinner, did laundry and I cleaned the house on the weekends. Then I quit work to SAH with my first born. Staying home with an infant kicked my butt.  He had colic and was up every 2 hours.  I can not even begin to describe the level of pure exhaustion..

When I worked I had my quiet times where I knew that I could count on having time to think and focus on the work in front of me.  Staying at home with a baby means that you are on their schedule . On paper it looks like you get an awful lot of down time. In reality you are exhausted from being "on" all the time.  Couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a day off.  When my 2nd came along I was lucky to get a shower in.  Thankfully my husband "got it" and was willing to help out with the cooking as needed.

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I agree with this. I woh now, and life is much easier for me than when I was at home full time with 2 little kids. I think it depends on the work you do (high stress versus just regular stress), as well as the temperament of your children (do they have health issues, are they 'high-needs'/'spirited', etc.?), as well as your support network (how available is your spouse, do you have family nearby that can assist from time to time).  For me, being at home was actually far more stressful than being at work. I actually cook everyday now and workout too, because when I come home (5:30), I'm not so emotionally drained as I was when I was at home all day. Plus I have a nanny that preps for me so cooking is done in 20-30 mins.  The patience you need for two small kids is very high.  So I don't doubt that it is difficult, OP, especially if cooking is not something you inherently love.  However, you'll have to figure out how to carve out 30-45 mins a day to make something, at least Mon-Thurs, because your DH is not there to get anything started, and eventually you will need to eat as a family. When I was a SAHM, making dinner was actually the *first* thing I did when I had the two kids occupied (usually baby was napping and toddler was coloring), so it was always done. Then I tried to get the rest of it done in 5 min increments (laundry, general clean up, etc.). My rationale for this was meals were important, for everyone, so that took #1 priority. [/quote]

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