Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree it obscures things a bit. But if it was dance or cheerleading or something else, I'm sure it'd be the same, just with less people chiming in because they are less participated in activities. But I have to believe they have lots of the same pressure and costs and issues that are being raised here.

Hey it could be the Dungeons and Dragons team for all I care. Same stuff. Same opinion. Go to the family event. [/quote]

Different PP. I don't think so. I think the anti-sport people have really twisted this here. I would have the child miss the tournament, but what I find eye-opening on this thread is this viciousness people apparently harbor towards children (children!) who like sports. Have you read some of what people have wrote here? Apparently playing a team sport means you're setting yourself for a life in a cubicle, never participate in civic life, don't think of anybody other than yourselves, are all deluded into a blind belief you (or your child) will get a scholarship, and don't love family. It's unbelievable.

I'm no team sports fanatic either. I didn't play sports in school. But I find the vitriol here really awful and I think the anti-sports people are probably teaching their own kids some lessons that are a lot worse than what OP's sister is teaching her child.[/quote]

There are many former dorks that have no idea the type of commitment that goes into playing and succeeding at a high level sport.  They also view something like a 'violin concert' or 'debate' or 'chess tournament' as superior to a sporting event.  I have kids that do both so I KNOW that one is not better than the other--they are just different.  They require commitment, practice and sacrifice to succeed.

I have played Division 1 soccer. I also played Varsity soccer as a Freshmen at a local school that won VA State Championship.  In the upper years--you were expected to be at games/tournaments.  Death in family was just about the only acceptable excuse.  BUT--you need to know your family's priorities and sometimes be wiling to take it on the cuff if it is vitally important to your family.

I understood when my sister and her son missed an important event in my life---but came post-game.  It's hard to know what it's like to be in somebody else's shoes.[/quote]

"There are many former dorks" Don't you think you could have gotten your message across without this derogatory name calling? On the contrary, I think "former dorks" might realize that a high level sporting event is very important especially if it's a team commitment, just not so important to not do anything else in life year after year. Again, there are MANY "important sporting events" in a year for these athletes. A coach who doesn't understand that family might trump one of them, doesn't have the right values. I believe OP's son was talking about a pre-season tournament. Does that even factor into the final win/loss of a team over a season?[/quote]

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