Reply to Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary). [/quote]

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people. [/quote]

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person. [/quote]

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post.  She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people.  From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.[/quote]

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people. [/quote]

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too. [/quote]

About what? [/quote]

Sex.

That's what we are talking about. [/quote]

That argument does not hold water. You can learn what pleasures you as you and your partner discover each other. 10-15 other guys do not have to factor into the equation. [/quote]

Hi. It's me, the one with the many apparently unnecessary partners. Glad to provide such fodder for discussion.

My point, PP who doesn't think multiple partners are needed, is that I did learn things, and different things, from many of these men. I don't consider all of them to be "of no value". Certainly that are a few here and there who I can honestly say did not enrich my life. I would consider sleeping with them to be a mistake - but even mistakes "have value" in that you learn from them. You learn to pick your partners more carefully (I know you'll have a hard time believing that I didn't just sleep with anyone who wanted to, but I didn't). Several of these people were people I loved very much. One of the ones who I would consider a sexual mistake (in that the sexual encounter taught me nothing other than that I didn't want to have any further such encounters with him) is actually one of my best friends now. Yes, DH knows and no, he doesn't have a problem with it.

I agree that it's wonderful when people learn each other sexually together. I am sure that if I had stayed with the boy I lost my virginity to, we would have learned things sexually together. I never said that it was dumb for people to have only one or two partners. I met DH, I stopped being interested in other people. [b]The sex actually came much later. That had never happened to me before, and I thought it was really awesome[/b].[/quote]

Your husband is a sucker.

I'm sure he doesn't feel "awesome" that the sex came "much later."  What an absoloute total loser!
[/quote]

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