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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Verbal abuse (possible asbergers) - 17 year marriage, 2 kids, pattern of him barking at me and I retreat. I use the word bark because it’s how it feels, for small things, I’ve addressed it with him, he refuses to get help. He has anger issues that have gone untreated, and unless he gets therapy to work on himself I’m afraid nothing will change. I had an epiphany today actually that there are 3 key ingredients to an everlasting marriage: 1) good communication; 2) sex and 3) intimacy. We have lost intimacy, and that’s the poison right now eating at the connection. He barked at me the other day over a simple request and so again we go weeks without talking or sharing or planning or laughing. I understand why people cheat, it’s the loss of intimacy. I keep saying that shouting at the top of your lungs about some perceived slight is not good foreplay. All these sexless marriages, hers’s a tip: be kind and nice and try to work on the intimacy, being gentle, thoughtful, like when you first started dating, because no woman wants to sit next to you let alone have sex if you don’t show you care about your wife, apologize when you are wrong, own up to it, and don’t take your wife for granted. 
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This. ^^^ Sans the asbergers but he does have something going on. I couldn't have written it better. So tired of the cycle. We will be fine for a couple days and then he will have another outburst. I will retreat, cry silently, review all my options and remember that I need to hang on until kids are older, make a long sigh followed by mutual silent treatment for days.  Intimacy and sex no longer exist in this marriage. Starting to understand why some people emotionally cheat. I have retreated from social life because I can't stand going to places a a family. I feel like a fraud. My heart breaks not for my marriage but for my kids. I feel guilty they are being raised in a home with parents who have no love for each other. [/quote]

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